“The most important conversation ever is the one you have with yourself.” ~David Goggins
Today I am going to ask you a question that will make your life better.
You are probably expecting something deeper.
You are probably expecting something that will stir your heart.
You’re probably expecting something you’ve never heard before.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s can and intention It will change your life dramatically, but you’ve definitely heard of it. Especially if you were around 3 years old.
And did I mention it’s just one word?
The simple question is “why?”.
Many times I’m afraid to ask why because I don’t know the answer. And no one likes being in that position.
But it doesn’t have to be a question we avoid. Have you ever seen a 3-year-old running out of the phone because he doesn’t feel like he understands the world? of course not. They simply ask “why?” Keep asking “why?” until they are satisfied with the answer.
Children ask this question because they are curious and want to understand how the world around them works.
Adults avoid asking questions because they don’t want to challenge what we know. what if we were wrong? What if our assumptions are not based in reality? We are sure that we do not want to face the truth that will be revealed by examining our motives.
Asking myself “why?” always brings to mind the anxiety I’m wrestling with. Why am I so offended by her wife’s opinion when we have a fight, why am I so passionate about being “right”? What am I afraid of? Most of the time it’s something inside me that I’m trying to escape.
Are you afraid of looking weak?
Am I acting shit I haven’t dealt with since childhood?
My anger serves me in the moment because it keeps me safe. Acting like a toddler is much easier than asking, “Why am I so upset?” Why am I reacting so violently to this situation? ”
It is frightening to be confronted with our actions and question whether they support our proclaimed values and beliefs. Because we almost certainly know that it will be.
When I was young, I believed that good health was not only essential, but the foundation of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. I knew there was I understood that I needed to move my body, eat real food, align my life with my values, and fully manifest myself in my life.
Still, if you look at my behavior in my twenties and early thirties, you’ve probably seen a man destroying a bag of Doritos, partying every week, and sleeping like garbage at 40 pounds overweight.
My physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wells were dry.
I was too cool to accept this reality, so it would have been easy for me to remain oblivious to the truth for years.
So my health was toxic. I popped five different medicinal cocktails before gathering energy to sip coffee before work. It was full of excuses as to why.
I know it sounds harsh. But I am sharing it through the lens of empathy. I feel sorry for that man. I cry thinking about what that man had to go through to fully accept himself. teeth worthy of love
However, we also know that the only reason he changed was that his toes were being held on fire.
I chose to be vulnerable.
I decided to ask for help.
I decided to act.
Ask me, “Why?” It was the only way to make sure my actions were consistent with my values and beliefs.
I had all the right answers as to why health is important to me. But I had absolutely no ownership as to why my actions said the opposite.
The first moment I accepted that truth felt like Mike Tyson punched me in the face. It brought me to my knees. It took a skull-rattling blow to my ego.
I wasn’t the person I was telling myself.
Here’s why ownership is both terrifying and liberating. I realized that by asking “why,” I was able to live a better life, but achieving that required changes that only I could make. And that’s why I avoided taking responsibility.
I didn’t have to admit that my actions were not in line with my beliefs. bottom.
What parts of your life do you feel are not aligned with who you want to be?
But the important part when asking that question is:
not embarrassing. No responsibility. That’s it, my friend.
But now you have the choice to decide how you want to proceed.
Are you taking ownership and making an effort to improve? It’s up to you.
By taking the time to look inward and take responsibility for your actions, you can face the truth of your motivations and move forward toward your goals.
Asking “why?” is like having a skeleton key to every problem. Unlock things that will help you break through the barriers that keep you stuck, no matter what you’re facing.
How do you put this insight into action?
1. Acknowledge what drives your behavior, such as fear, anxiety, learned helplessness, or childhood conditioning. Remind yourself that it’s okay to ask why, you don’t need to know all the answers right away, or take immediate action if you’re not ready to change.
2. Take it step by step so as not to be overwhelmed. Start with the most pressing issues in your life and build your way up.
3. Talk to someone you trust and ask for help. Please share your concerns and doubts. You might be surprised how many people are facing similar issues. Having the support of someone who understands will give you the confidence to face difficult problems you would rather avoid.
Once you understand yourself on a deeper level, all that remains is to act. Use the insights you gain by asking “why” to intentionally change your life. Identify specific behaviors that align with your values and beliefs and commit to making them a part of your daily life. Alternatively, make a list of your current negative behaviors, create all of the things that trigger them, and identify healthier options for each.
As you navigate these changes, be patient and be kind to yourself, and remember to celebrate the small successes along the way.