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How Long Should the Love of a Marriage Suffer?

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For couples exchanging vows on their wedding day, long suffering is probably the last thing on their minds. At that moment, the newlyweds are completely immersed in a love that feels so strong. They exude confidence that their formidable love will help them get through the different seasons of life. They are right on the one hand, because love conquers all. On the other hand, if we only hope for the romantic love we share, whether it’s sexual attraction, passion, ambiguous feelings, emotional attachment, compassion, or possessiveness, we may be dead wrong. I have.

And although romantic love is an important stage in any relationship, it fades over time. Eventually, your palms will stop sweating, and your cheeks will no longer turn red at the sight of your spouse. Your heartbeat eventually settles into a steady rhythm, and the release of feel-good hormones stops abruptly as the relationship progresses. Enter intentional love. So the couple keeps their vows and trudges on despite unexpected obstacles along the way. Believers have the advantage when it comes to love because the Bible provides a blueprint for loving one another.

love lasts long

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul points out that a believer’s spiritual gifts are useless unless they are motivated by love. Love is central to a believer’s life. Without it, the believer will live in deception. The entire Gospel is a story of unrelenting love. This is the story of God who loved the world so much that he gave up his only son to save it. God is love and we cannot claim to know God unless we practice love (1 John 4:8).

The first property Paul uses to describe love is that it is patient.of collins dictionary Patience is defined as patiently enduring many problems and misfortunes, especially those caused by others. Peter taught that God is patient. He warned the early church against detractors who claimed that the return of the Lord Jesus would take a little too long. Peter explained that the apparent delay in Jesus’ return was actually due to God’s patience. God wants no one to perish, so he “delayed” the Second Coming of Christ to give the world more time to repent (2 Peter 3:9).

Jesus also showed patience while on earth. In order to fulfill his father’s will, he had to jump many hurdles. He endured the cross to save mankind and despised his shame. He humbled himself until his death. Paul, the author and perfecter of our faith, invites us to imitate the Lord and to compete patiently (Hebrews 12:2). If Jesus required long suffering to do God’s will, then we too, being no greater than our Master, must be ready to follow the same path. We are not going to pull out of the race at the first sight of trouble. Like good soldiers, we must persevere through hardships (2 Timothy 2:3). As long as we fight the battle of faith, we will suffer for a long time.

Long Suffering in Marriage

Patience is important in any relationship, but marriage will require it more than any other. Given that marriage is the most intimate relationship, disagreements and disappointments are part of the package. Just like you, your spouse isn’t perfect either, so your weaknesses become more apparent when you’re married.

Married life gives you countless opportunities to exercise perseverance. But isn’t that the promise you swore on the altar with your eyes shining with tears? You swore to be with your partner, for better or worse, rich or poor, sick or healthy. You signed up for a long suffering life where you stopped being two people and became one. So how can we be patient in marriage? Also, is there a limit to patience? Here are four ideas to consider.

1. Do everything according to the Lord.

“And do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, whether in word or deed, and give thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

God asks us to all for his glory and in his name. Our life should not be fragmented. We should not glorify God in some areas and live without thinking in others. This means that your relationship with your spouse is no exception. All deeds and words should be done in the name of the Lord to bring glory to Him. Does how you communicate with your spouse bring glory to God? What about how you respond to their needs? Taken together, we find ourselves unknowingly persevering in our marriages. We become more patient, more forgiving, and carry each other’s weaknesses.

2. Observe how Christ relates to the church

“Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord. Husbands are head of wives, as Christ is head of the church. Christ is the Savior of the body. “Let wives obey their husbands in all things. Just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, so also husbands love your wives. to sanctify and purify her by the washing of the water of the word, and to present her.” Give yourself a holy, blemish-free and glorious church, free from stains and wrinkles and such. . ”- ephesians 5: 22-27

Paul encourages married people to use the relationship between Christ and the church as a model for marriage. He asks his wives to obey their husbands as they obey the Lord in everything. It’s not an easy task. The wife often has to suffer for a long time to fulfill this order. How will she obey her husband when he can only see his obvious flaws? Husbands also have the difficult task of loving their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. How can husbands live up to the high standard that Christ sets for them? They, too, must exercise a great deal of patience in order to love her wife unselfishly. Patience is built into the pattern of marriage that Paul recommends, and there is no escape from it.

3. Remind yourself of your mistakes

“Then why are you looking at the little speck in your brother’s eye and not thinking about the board in your own eye?” Can you say, “I’ll remove it for you”? teeth in your own eyes? Hypocrite! First remove the board from your eye. Then you will be able to see clearly in order to remove the dirt from your brother’s eyes. – Matthew 7:3-5

If you find yourself tempted to harshly criticize your spouse and withhold mercy or forgiveness, take a moment to reflect on your mistakes. are you perfect Far from it. Does your spouse have to contend with your weakness too? Certainly. Recognizing that you have a lot of failures that your partner has to put up with will help you put things in perspective. Jesus warned that if we do not forgive others, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us either (Matthew 6:15). If you expect your mate to accept your weaknesses, why not do the same?

4. Know your boundaries

Love suffers long, but it has its limits. Our patience must not endanger life or harm us. God does not ask us to torture our marriages in the name of long suffering. Although the scriptures consistently encourage couples to be patient with each other, there are exceptions. For example, God has explicitly said that he hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). However, Jesus taught that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality creeps into the marriage (Matthew 5:32). In addition, you should not persevere when your spouse becomes abusive and endangers your partner’s life and well-being. Couples should act within healthy boundaries in their marriage. Boundaries protect your spouse from exploitation and manipulation by clarifying limits and assigning responsibilities.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Hispanolistic

Keren Kanyago Freelance writer and blogger. parenting spring. Her wife and mother uses her blog to discuss related issues related to her parenting, marriage, and Christianity. She has a degree in Mass Communication and specializes in print media.please follow her Facebook and Instagram Or send an email to kerenkanyago@gmail.com.

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