“Peace cannot be maintained by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” ~Albert Einstein
Most of us feel judged at times. We may feel judged by what we look like, what we do (or don’t), what we say (and how we say it), or what we believe.
We may react to feelings of being judged by retreating within ourselves, hiding, and silencing our voices, or we may react with defense or retaliation as if we were being attacked.
It doesn’t feel good to be judged. It can hurt us, make us feel inadequate, and drain our energy.
But if we want to be freed from the burden of being judged, there is something very important to understand.
The feeling of being judged is different from the feeling of being judged!
This is a very important difference. And understanding that can make the difference between feeling insecure and feeling secure.
There’s a difference between hiding and shining.
Feeling Judged vs. Being Judged
When we feel judged, it is something we experience within ourselves.
It’s a feeling, not necessarily a fact.
It’s important to understand that how we feel and react to others is up to us. It is the result of our conditioning, trauma, fears, emotions, anxieties, attitudes, and what we believe (whether or not they are actually true), but it is ours.
Someone’s words may be the trigger, but the feeling is ours.
Being judged is another. That’s what people outside of us do. Whether someone passes judgment on us through words, actions, a particular look, or the sound of a whispered sneer, it is external…and we may or may not respond to it. yeah.
I’m not saying it’s easy not to react or take it personally, but it’s important to understand the difference.
take things personally
If someone questions what we say or do or why we believe it, we take it personally and may feel like that person is judging us.
Have you ever felt judged because someone asked you a question?
Be honest!
We may act defensive or angry when someone questions our beliefs, but that person may want to understand us better.
If you are insecure about who you are, or if your senses are deeply tied to your beliefs, the question can feel like an attack or a judgment.
but that doesn’t mean it was judgment.
I am a very curious person. I have always wanted to understand myself, my heart and my emotions. I know this comes from self-exploration, questioning yourself and your beliefs, which is uncomfortable at times.
But it is a curiosity not just to understand oneself, but to understand the human experience. This curiosity for understanding is also a desire to connect on a deep and authentic level.
As Thich Nhat Hanh said: “Understanding is another name for love. If you cannot understand, you cannot love.”
Because of who I am and what I do, I often ask people questions about who they are and why they believe what they believe.
People are very open with me most of the time. However, sometimes people take my questions personally. Now I know I was non-judgmental with my question, just curious to understand and connect, but sometimes the person I’m talking to can be defensive.
Even though I know it, I sometimes feel like I’m being judged for it. I was judged for what I didn’t do. But this is my reaction. I perceive their reactions as judgments on my perceived judgments.
It may sound a little complicated, but it happens sometimes. When I catch myself and feel what’s going on inside, I can just go through it and let go.
But it starts with being aware of my reactions and being careful.
we have a choice
When we feel judged, we can react to our feelings, defend them, justify them, try to blame someone else, or use them as an opportunity to take an interest in ourselves.
Choosing to grow up doesn’t mean you don’t feel emotions. we do. We feel them and can be uncomfortable at times. But choosing to grow means being able to take responsibility by consciously feeling your emotions and being aware of your reactions. Because we understand that our emotions and reactions are our own.
As long as we try to blame others for our feelings, we will always be victims because we feel like we have no choice.
By learning to own your emotions by being with them, you gain the power to change your relationship with them. Then you can learn to navigate the landscape of your mind.
let go out of curiosity
If you’re feeling judged, assuming someone thinks bad of you and feels bad about yourself in response, be curious.
Follow your emotions carefully. feel them Stay with them (as much as you can). Let them take you deep into themselves.
Ask yourself:
Why do I feel judged?
What are my beliefs?
What do you not want to see about yourself?
What is it that you don’t want to admit?
Am I judging myself? If so, for what?
Why does it matter what other people think?
Never underestimate the power of our curiosity. It’s a superpower!
It can really transform us from a closed, reactive state of mind to an open and receptive state of mind. , is a place where you can grow.
It is also where understanding becomes love. within ourselves and within our relationships and interactions. It is a place where collective separation can be healed and unity can be restored.
Curiosity is the magic that makes it easy.
Journaling is a wonderful assistant to curiosity. It helps you connect more deeply with what is happening within you. Whenever you feel judged, sit quietly and reflect on your feelings, thoughts and feelings. Writing them down will help make it more specific.
If you do this enough, familiar patterns will start to emerge.
find your strengths
People may judge you at some point. But remember, that doesn’t mean you should take it personally or feel bad about yourself.
Whenever you feel judged, whether or not someone else is judging you, remember, it’s just an emotion. Use it as an opportunity to dismantle your anxiety.
That way, you can connect with your true self and tap into your inner strength.
And the world needs your heart to shine!
About Ben Fizel
Ben is a meditation and mindfulness teacher, a calmness coach, a nature lover, a curious, heart-centered, and visionary human being – The Peacekeeper Project. provides education and training to quiet the mind and enable them to live from the heart. Find out more and access free meditation courses. peacekeeping projectYou can also follow Youtube, Instagram, Facebook.
