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On My 39th Birthday—Some Honest Thoughts on Aging Well

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Recently, there were three events that reminded me. Aging is inevitable and it happens to all of us (if we’re lucky). interview We talked about turning 50 with Gwyneth Paltrow (“Growing old is a journey to discover who you really are”) Then I went to my friend Kelty’s disco-themed 40th birthday party. I was. I heard myself say this while putting on false eyelashes in her hotel room before a party. Age is really just a state of mind.” I asked the next day, podcast Poet Rupi Kaul lamented that he was about to turn 30. I wanted to hug her and reassure her that your 30s are the best.

Three talented and beautiful women going through three very different life stages, but with many of the same emotions. Letting go of a chapter and having some anxiety about what happens next.

Aging is an emotional roller coaster, especially for women. At 39, this topic feels ubiquitous, but maybe I’m old enough to notice it more.

We all love new anti-aging products and longevity hacks, but that’s not the subject of today’s article. A little help from a dermatologist is welcome if it makes you feel better, but things can get even more difficult if cosmetic improvements are done in a state of resistance. I think there is also. Unless your own sense of beauty is rooted in something deeper, your inner perception of who you are, it’s never enough. Looking and feeling younger is more about how we think. Do you know when Gwyneth actually looks the youngest?she is not when she is painted in gold And when she poses in the most flattering light, that’s when she’s smiling.

As I enter the final year of my thirties, here are some of the changes I’m making to my thinking about beauty and aging.

Successfully aging depends on how we see ourselves.

I’ve heard women of a certain age say that they feel invisible. Paulina Poliskov (who loves candid conversations about beauty and aging) said that women almost disappear from society after 40. I’m not here to deny other people’s experiences, morning I chose to reject that story myself. The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They permeate the way we live our world. I am choosing that I am not invisible, irrelevant, or past my prime. It really doesn’t matter who sees me or not, what matters is how I choose to see myself. And the confidence that radiates is attractive at any age.

Beauty is an attitude.

Aging gracefully means having female friends to walk through life with.

To me, my friends are the most attractive women because they radiate beauty as people. In addition, they have the lucky phenomenon that they always look the same age as when they met. Find a friend who sees you as her 28 year old forever, even as you continue to evolve and grow with each other. Sometimes I think about sitting with my girlfriends drinking coffee when we’re all 80 years old. Suddenly getting older is not so scary.

Aging well isn’t about freezing time, it’s about being cool at any age.

I often hear that older women are “refined” and “chic”, but the image of women I want to aim for is something like this. nice. Julia Roberts. Padma Lakshmi. Julianne Moore. Alicia key. Norma Kamari. It makes little sense to mention their age. They are immersed in life, immersed in art and music, have a sense of adventure, and find deeper meaning as they get older.

When I’m stressed about getting older, or when I think I have to “fix” something about myself, I call upon my (unconscious) mentors who are forever confident, beautiful, and sexy. .

To age well is to know yourself.

Learn to accept your “flaws” as part of your unique beauty. Let’s laugh more. Set gentle but firm boundaries. Don’t get angry easily. Spend time doing things that lighten you up. Be curious and open-minded. Hearing your favorite tunes on the radio, turning up the volume and singing along loudly, I will do when I’m 70, just as I did when I was 16. A season of life, it is also a difficult season.

You don’t have to worry so much about aging gracefully.

My biggest attitude change about aging is to try not to think about it too much (you won’t believe this article, lol). I’m still working on it, but to be honest, we have better ones. We are doing it with our time. There is a sigh of relief you get when you let go of the never-ending quest for perfection and instead choose to focus your attention outside of yourself. I remember that cramped feeling I had when I started looking at Instagram and comparing. I am proud of how much I have removed those negative emotions from my life and replaced them with more productive thoughts.

as my friend Kate recently said in a newsletter:

rediscover knowledge // This change in what has been and will be // Awakening // moment of growth // it’s happening for you, not for you

others! Today is the day you become the youngest ever.

enjoy it.

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