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Samara Bay Tells Us How to Be Heard and Use Our Power

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I always wanted to be taken seriously. I have fought to speak in a dignified, clear and powerful way. Parents, bosses, audience members, partners, everyone in front of me has asked me to respect my words.wanted to be heard.

I remember standing in my “Public Speaking 101” class in college, clutching my speech, obsessed with how to perfect my message. Get your shoulders back! no! No likes! When it was time to start, the professor interrupted me after 20 seconds. “Don’t cross your legs,” he said. “Stand up more. Think of Winston Churchill. Woof.

I am not alone in this battle. Countless people, mostly women, have struggled to win hearts in our (still) white heterosexual-dominated culture. I think I have Maybe you thought: What sounds powerful? How can I speak without ‘ums’ and ‘likes’? And why is it so hard to feel heard when I have something to say?

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How to Be Hearing: Tips from Author Samara Bay

Here’s the flip side: it doesn’t have to be that hard, I believe Samara BayWe need to change the power sound. An author and Hollywood’s respected speech and communications expert, Bay thinks of what power looks and sounds like privileged and competent like JFK and Steve Jobs. These numbers are staggering, but they’re the basis for what we think is the “right” way to sound powerful. As Bay writes in her fascinating book, permission to speak, there is “a certain kind of voice we all grew up hearing that sounds like command and belief.” With this, we created a wall of bricks that broke ourselves and lost our voice.

There are “a certain kind of voices we all grew up hearing that sound like commands and beliefs.” With this, we created a wall of bricks that broke ourselves and lost our voice.

Bey is about to tear down this wall and open up a room for everyone to see their power. Rather than perpetuate, she invites us to look inward. are fighting for

I spoke with Bay about her mission to help us all honor our voices. These are my biggest takeaways from our conversations and her book.

By helping us all understand that the power is within us, Bey is changing the world.

Image by Michelle Nash

I have to unravel the story of the voice

I had never heard of “Voice Story” until I read it permission to speakBey believes that the way we talk has a history, just like we talk about money or our bodies. “This suggests a narrative, not a narrative, but a collection of myths that may or may not serve us,” Bey tells me. There must have been too many rooms that had to be changed. He may have felt intimidating because his voice was different from that of the powerful man in the room. Therefore, we have acquired habits and ideas, some of which are to our detriment. We’ve been making these tweaks our entire lives to make sure people lean over rather than lean over,” Bay continues.

“We all have a voice story because we live in cultures that have millennia-old opinions about what a powerful person should sound like.” — Samara Bay

The important thing I learned from Bey is to know that there is nothing wrong with the way you speak.And there’s nothing wrong with that method you talk. Bey believes that there is always a reason why we speak. “When someone calls you into a room and says to you, you say, like I waved this flag of compassion and said, “There’s a reason you picked up that habit. served.

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A colloquial phrase “moving the world”

The first time I read Bey’s words, I cried. hear. “A casual, conversational and simple language helps people connect,” Bey wrote. “Unless you are involved in legal proceedings […], you probably have more leeway to speak informally than you think. ”

Let’s take it all in. The school days of extracting the exact “perfect” word from a thesaurus are long gone. Bay tells us to speak to our hearts, souls, and unique hearts. this How to ask.

Think about a speech that captivated you. Did the person use chunky bombastic words or complex sentences? No, instead, from impassioned Oscar acceptance speeches to inspiring commencement addresses, these epic talks are from someone’s heart.Bay As I said to me, those people “approach from a love-based perspective. How can I talk about the things that matter to me in a way that makes me trustworthy and makes my concerns contagious? How do I spread care loudly? ”

But informal, conversational speech does not mean carelessness. “Your words matter not because they are impressive in themselves,” Bey wrote.

Image courtesy: Samara Bay

we need to connect with our emotions

Do you know when you can almost feel someone’s pain, joy, or fight when they’re talking? It’s their emotions on completely raw display. Understanding how we feel is key to winning hearts. So where do you start? By taking advantage of our humanity. “We must move ourselves before we can move others. must move,” Bey wrote.

When we take a deep emotional hit, it tells us thatSomething here is bigger than me,” Bay says. If you start crying, crack your voice, or speak too loudly, you will quickly become ashamed of yourself. Winston Churchill’s voice didn’t sound emotional, so mine doesn’t. Committing to our emotions is what drives our message forward. As Bay writes, “Without the emotional component, no one will remember what you said.”

So how do we tap into our emotions? By connecting with our bodies. “Your body is part of you,” Bey tells me. “There is a deep wisdom that can only be accessed by doing something that feels good. So dance, run, walk, jump, do yoga. See it as a way to evolve the world, because we all deserve to feel empowered and heard.

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