A common misconception is that couples therapy is only for couples with big problems. Some may think that they are not ready. Couples therapy is only for partners who have been together for a long time. ‘We’re not there yet’ is what we hear from people starting to notice couples therapy signs that it might be time to schedule an appointment. But it’s perfectly normal to have some kind of conflict. It’s part of being human!
Beautiful and juicy success in a relationship is built by learning how to work through that conflict to reach the other side and make you feel respected and stronger. Learning how to communicate effectively and building trust are tools that lay a beautiful foundation for any relationship. This is true at any point in the game.
Featured image by Michelle Nash.
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Couples Therapy: Signs It May Be Time to Consider a Visit
Contrary to popular belief, things don’t have to be “bad” before seeking treatment. In fact, it’s more helpful to consider couples therapy before resentment or anger builds up and it takes time to let go and move on. Instead of harboring anger or sadness indefinitely, think of it as finding a safe haven to work through challenges and strengthen relationships when problems are identified. Neglecting problem buds is positive for your relationships and emotions.
Not sure if you still have time? We will highlight some common spaces in relationship conflict that may demonstrate the benefits of seeking support.
Neglecting problem buds is positive for your relationships and emotions.
1. Fall into the same pattern of conflict
When your relationship spirals into the same arguments and patterns, it’s a sign that what you’re doing isn’t working. Hearing new solutions or engaging a different brain on repetitive problems can help you and your partner see the problem from a different perspective.
Repeated arguments are often the most heated ones because they spend so much time building them. This makes it very difficult to see outside your field of vision. Additionally, having a therapist help you and your partner identify the root of the problem, rather than trying to find a temporary solution, can help solve the problem rather than putting band-aids on it. Whether it’s a pattern of misunderstandings or a one-off incident that disrupted a relationship, a couples therapist can help you find common ground and work toward resolution.
2. One or both partners’ needs are not met or heard
Plain and simple—Many kinds of unmet needs that are ignored over time foster resentment in relationships. All human beings want and need recognition. This is especially true when something is not working in the relationship.
Needs may be ignored because people with specific needs fear conflict or are hesitant to speak up. Also, your partner may not address the need or consider it “important.” Having a partner who listens to your needs and values them is paramount to feeling loved and accepted.
In some ways, it’s not that different from parenting. Humans, big and small, need to feel safe and secure in order to blossom. If your needs are not being listened to, you may want to ask your therapist to help you communicate your concerns. Asking what you need and even verbalizing those needs can be difficult. As you find your voice in your relationship, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
3. Your relationship feels more negative than positive
All relationships have positive and negative sides. It can’t be overemphasized how normal conflicts are and how comfortable you should feel in an argument or an argument. Sometimes you have to hash things out and feel a lot of big emotions before finding a solution with your partner.
With that said, if you’re feeling more conflicted than peaceful, your interactions with your partner are mostly negative, or you have nothing to look forward to together, take note. It’s time to break the pattern of and address some of the issues that are causing negative emotions. Are you clinging to things that were buried in your past or could not be addressed? Are your needs not being met? Seeing a couples therapist can help you analyze what’s going on and make your relationship lighter, happier, and easier.
4. Thinking about infidelity or experiencing loss of intimacy
Infidelity can be one of the most devastating challenges a relationship can face. Infidelity doesn’t necessarily have to end a relationship. Many partnerships can survive infidelity and become stronger in the end.
If you and your partner are struggling to get over an affair, couples therapy can help you work through your emotions and rebuild your relationship. It can provide a safe space to work through the hurt and move toward forgiveness and healing.
Plus, just acknowledging that you had that idea or wanted something more than that is a big cue that something needs to change, even if you don’t act on it. Infidelity often results from an unaddressed loss of intimacy. Intimacy is an important aspect of any relationship, and loss of intimacy can be a sign that something deeper is going wrong.
If you and your partner have lost the spark and are struggling to bond emotionally or physically, couples therapy can help get you back on track before the possibility of infidelity creeps in. Passion in your relationship. rekindle the
How to ask your partner to go to therapy with you
If you are going through any of the above situations, we recommend that you consider establishing a relationship with a couples therapist. However, if you are already convinced and your partner has not yet , moving forward can be difficult. Convincing a reluctant partner to join is not as easy as it sounds. It is very common for partners to be unwilling to participate in therapy.
Below are some strategies that can help you get your reluctant partner on board.
Frame your ideas as a way to be honest with your needs
Let your partner know that there are a few things you want to work on. However, your current approach does not meet your needs.
don’t play the punishment game
It never feels good to hear, “I have to go to therapy because of you.” Especially in reality, most of the time it takes him two to tango. Even if you are *absolutely positive*, it’s not you. As you learn in therapy, you’ll probably be surprised at how many things you could do better. Make an offer that you have something to work on too. Please explain that you believe sharing information with third parties would be mutually beneficial.
discuss stigma
If your partner has certain beliefs about what it means to get treatment, you can acknowledge them. However, it is important to express your own needs and beliefs. We recognize that while they may differ, they still deserve respect. It’s fair to ask your partner to simply be willing to try.
choose a counselor together
This encourages investment and fosters a sense that we are moving into the therapeutic realm together. One person does the work and she no longer reluctantly accompanies one. Make sure you have the space and space for your partner to express what is important in the session and participate in the process.
Remember: You can’t force someone to go to therapy
Make sure they know you are asking them to come on board and you are not going to force them. However, help them understand how important they are to you and the success of your relationship will join you. leads to
final thoughts
I applaud you for taking the time to work on your relationship or even starting to play around with the idea that couples therapy might be the next step you need to take. Normalizing emotional health care is very important. So that your relationship can reap the rewards, don’t be afraid to put in the work. May your February be filled with love and new beginnings.
