Why You’re So Unhappy

This is not your typical pep talk about how the universe works in mystical ways or if you are patient everything will be fine.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

The cold, hard truth is this: The universe doesn’t care about your well-being. you do.

Maybe you’ve looked for answers in meditation retreats or self-help books (including really good ones). Or maybe you’ve taken the plunge and booked a trip to Peru for a long weekend of drinking ayahuasca and talking to the gods.

But now you’re sitting there, probably frowning in bewilderment, scrolling through your phone, drinking a triple-shot latte, and thinking, “Why am I so unhappy?”

The secrets of your happiness aren’t hidden in arcane Zen words or locked up in mindfulness apps.

The answer is to look at you in the mirror.

So why are you so unhappy?

Well, let’s try it.

you are chasing happiness

This is the solemn truth. Pursuing happiness is like playing tag with a ghost. Even if you run around and get exhausted, you end up empty-handed.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. But when you’re happy goal Things go south from there rather than a by-product of a fulfilling life.

As you know, life is not always about riding to the pinnacle of pleasure. Life has peaks and valleys. It is a stormy sea and a calm sea.

Remember the movie “Inside Out”? Adorable characters expressing each emotion did not exist just for show. These underscore the profound truth that every emotion, be it joy or sorrow, plays an important role in the grand scheme of things.

Happiness is not a destination. It is the byproduct of a life full of meaning, purpose and fulfillment.

So instead of chasing happiness, shift your focus to what’s important to you, even if it’s uncomfortable, and what brings you a sense of accomplishment and growth.

you avoid pain

We live in a society where pain is treated like an unwanted guest. From painkillers for the slightest discomfort to indulging in distractions to avoid emotional distress or just plain boredom, we have created every shield from pain.

But here’s an inconvenient truth. Pain is part of life’s package deal.

You cannot experience true growth without some form of discomfort. Burning from intense training leads to stronger muscles. Similarly, the pain of facing difficult situations head-on and overcoming challenges leads to stronger personalities.

Imagine you always dreamed of starting your own business. But you are terrified of potential failure, financial instability, and grueling working hours. So, you decide to stay in your comfort zone: your exhausting 9:00 to his 5:00 job. Trying to avoid “pain” also avoids opportunities for growth and true fulfillment.

comparing yourself to others

Welcome to the age of social media. It’s the perfect setting for a comparison game. When your feed is flooded with reels of other people’s highlights, it’s easy to feel like you’re not keeping up.

Constant comparisons are bound to create dissatisfaction. Remember, you are running your own race. It looks different than others, and that’s perfectly fine.

While you work from your quaint home office, your friends might be showing off their gorgeous corner office. Their salary may be in the six figures, but you only earn enough to live comfortably.

But there are pitfalls here. While you are enjoying the freedom to work your way and live a more balanced life, perhaps they are stressed, overworked, and lacking peace.

you live in your head, not in the present

Our minds are often time travel machines. We dwell on the past, relive memories and harbor regrets. We worry about the future and weave threads of anxiety about things that haven’t happened yet. During this time travel, we currently ignore the only moment we really have.

Life unfolds in the present. You can’t rewrite the past or control the future, but you can make the most of the present. Accept it, both its beauty and its imperfections.

Perhaps you’re reading this with your mug at your side in a busy café. Instead of stressing about your next meeting or reminiscing about the past, take a deep breath. Savor the aroma of coffee, feel the warmth of the palm of your hand, and immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the café.

live in the moment

blame others for one’s misfortune

We’ve all had our bosses because we’re stressed, our parents because we’re anxious, and our ex-boyfriend because we can’t trust them. We hold them responsible for our misfortune. But here’s the real deal. Only you are responsible for your well-being.

It’s easy to blame, play victim, and relinquish control. It exempts us from responsibility. It shields us from the harsh reality that we, and only we, have the power to change circumstances.

Blaming others for your unhappiness is like giving someone else the remote control of your life. It’s saying, “Here, you have the power to influence my mood and state of mind.”

Why give it such power?

Take back that power. You are not a puppet tossed around by the whims of others. you are a puppeteer You are in control of your actions, reactions, and ultimately your happiness.

Think about it like this: You’re stuck in traffic, you’re late for a meeting, and the taxi driver chose a longer route. You can spend the entire ride yelling at your driver and blaming him for starting the day wrong, or you can use that time to prepare for a meeting or enjoy a few more minutes of your favorite podcast. increase. The situation hasn’t changed, but your reaction to it changes, which changes the world.

Ultimately, it comes down to not giving others the power to feel content or control their emotions. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. And indeed, no one can make you unhappy without your permission.

Life is a roller coaster, with ups and downs, good days and bad days.

Happiness is not a permanent state, it is a temporary emotion like any other emotion.

Embrace the journey with triumphs and trials, joys and sorrows. Because every part of it contributes to your personal story, your unique masterpiece.

Let go of the mad pursuit of happiness, stop confronting, accepting and comparing pain, lock yourself in the present and stop blaming others for your unhappiness.

And perhaps, in the midst of all this, you may, at the most unexpected moment, find the elusive butterfly of happiness resting softly on your shoulder.