“There is only one cause of unhappiness, and that is the false beliefs you hold in your mind, the beliefs that are so prevalent and so popular that you question them. is that there will never be.” ~ Anthony de Mello
When people come to me struggling with anxiety, fear, anger, self-judgment, etc., there are five things they always believe to be true.
Take anxiety for example. Most (if not all) people with anxiety think:
1. Is it a bad thing to feel anxious?
2. It should not be.
3. Something is wrong with me (because I am anxious).
4. My mind must be at peace.
5. I cannot experience peace until my anxiety is gone.
Going through this list, most people nod in agreement.
Few, if any, would question the veracity of these statements.
As spiritual teacher Anthony de Mello puts it, they say:
“So prevalent and so commonly believed, you never question them.”
And these beliefs alone are responsible for 98% (if not more) of the needless suffering most people experience.
Have you ever heard the expression “pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice”?
Experiencing anxiety is uncomfortable. There is no denying that it was a painful experience.
But it is our belief and spiritual commentary about anxiety It is the cause of most suffering.
“Anxiety is terrible. I hate it. I can’t stay like this. What am I doing wrong? Did I do something wrong? I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m screwed. No more.” I will never be happy again.”
heart comment almost Anxiety adds fuel to the fire, turning painful experiences into full-blown suffering.
long lasting Peace can never be found at the level of thought. The mind is naturally restless. That’s not wrong. It is simply a state of mind.
To end suffering, you need to change the way you relate to your mind.
To do that, we need to see through the false beliefs that hold us captive.
As long as you believe certain ideas are bad or wrong they shouldn’t exist and as long as you believe there is something wrong with you for having them you will continue to suffer.. For your beliefs, not from the thoughts themselves.
The solution is so simple that most people completely overlook it.
know the mind better
There is a quote by Abraham Lincoln that I often use.
“I don’t like that guy. I need to get to know him better.”
Exactly the same logic applies to anxiety, depression, fear, or a critical inner voice.
If you don’t like disturbing thoughts, resistance won’t do you any good.
The answer is to get to know them better.
Two Approaches to Freeing Your Mind
There are two approaches we can take to find more inner peace.
The first is to try to modify or change your thoughts by “working on yourself.”
I have tried this approach for years and have found the change to occur painfully slow.
After years of hard work, I had little to show for it.
Then I made a breakthrough.
During a six-month meditation retreat, I came across a completely different approach to dealing with the mind.
Knowing more about my thoughts (and my feelings and emotions) gave me a completely different understanding of myself, my mind, and my path to peace.
I saw it:
It’s not your thoughts, feelings, or emotions that plague you.Suffering is self-created through your ways Relation to them.
See through the false beliefs that hold you back. Then your troublesome thoughts will not have the same power to influence your peace.
Since then, I have outlined seven false beliefs that keep most people stuck in their heads for the rest of their lives.
7 false beliefs that will keep you stuck in your head forever
“Demand arises from the duality of ‘I am unhappy and I must be happy. ~ Zidhu Krishnamurti
The great thing about belief is that the moment you see it through, it loses control over you. Just looking at it is liberating. It doesn’t take long.
False Belief #1: The mind should be quiet and peaceful. Otherwise, something is wrong.
I love this quote from Indian spiritual teacher Nisargadatta:
“There is no such thing as security. Mind means disturbance. Restlessness itself is mind.”
Restlessness is the nature of the mind. Expecting it to be quiet and peaceful is like expecting the water to be dry or the grass to be pink.
It is not your restless nature that disturbs your peace. It is the belief that something is wrong and should be different.
You will not suffer because your mind is restless. You suffer because you believe it shouldn’t be.
Expect your mind to be confused, mad, confused and anxious. Don’t be surprised. There is nothing “wrong”. It is called being a person.
Fallacy #2: Suffering is caused by negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.
What if you could feel depressed, sad, worried, even anxious, and perfectly at peace?
Negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are unpleasant, but they are not the main cause of suffering. We suffer because we reject them, think something is wrong with them, and believe they shouldn’t be there.
Don’t worry about feeling sad and don’t think it’s a bad thing. You can also feel sadness and peace at the same time by thinking that you don’t need to let go of your emotions to be okay.
Most people confuse peace with feeling good. it’s not the same.
Our thoughts and feelings are like clouds across the sky. There will be dark ones as well as bright ones.
The key to lasting peace is accepting them all. Even if you don’t feel well.
What could be a negative thought, anyway? Another thought to say so.
False Belief #3: It’s bad/wrong to feel anxious, depressed, depressed, or worthless.
This belief definitely falls into the category of “belief so widespread and so popular that no one questions it.”
Most of us enjoy warm sunny days more than dark and cloudy days.
But that doesn’t make a cloudy day worse or wrong.
In the same way, the challenging thoughts and feelings that cloud our inner sky are not inherently good or bad, right or wrong. Like the weather, they are neutral events and part of the human condition.
The real problem (or really the only problem) is the idea that unpleasant = wrong.
And this belief provokes mental comments such as: –That is, suffering.
Fallacy #4: I will not experience peace until this/that pattern is resolved.
I have spoken to many people who have waited 20 years for their anxiety to heal and to be able to live again.
I have seen people who have suffered from anxiety all their lives experience deep peace within a minute or two of seeing through a particular belief.
I call it the path or understanding as opposed to the path of self-improvement.
Peace is your nature. And no matter what is going on in your mind, it will always be there.
People can wait years for dark clouds of anxiety, sadness, or self-doubt to pass before they can return to living full lives.
There is a powerful meditation called the “Awareness Exercise”. This is what I want to share with those who believe they cannot experience peace on their own.
I won’t go into too much detail here, but I encourage people to be fully present in the moment by envisioning their difficulties and paying attention to what is happening here and now.
When asked later how their experience was, they usually use words like “peaceful,” “quiet,” or “expansive.”
And when I ask what the difficulty was during practice, people always say, “Oh, I completely forgot.” More proof that you don’t have to wait for your problems to heal before you can live fully.
No matter what is going on in your heart or life, you can find peace here and now.
Misconception #5: Being involved with the mind is a must.
Years ago, when I was chronically overthinking and struggling to find peace, I told you you were crazy if you told me it wasn’t essential to be involved with the mind. wax.
Like most people, when thoughts run unconsciously on autopilot, it feels like something is happening. To A relentless torrent of thoughts overwhelms you and you have no choice but to listen, as if you were the innocent victim.
You don’t think enough to be thunked!
But here’s the truth. You are in charge and your mind is as strong as you give it. It may not look like this, but it is true.
as seen before “Awareness Exercise” You can always distract your mind. Thoughts are choices. Not required.
Mooji, a teacher I like a lot, says we are suffering because we are open. If you choose to close shop, the heart will be unable to affect your peace.
When you learn to step back and look at your mind objectively, you can choose whether or not to participate. Overthinking is an unconscious habit that you can learn to let go of.
Myth #6: I’m responsible for what’s in my head.
Close your eyes for a moment and see what you think next, like a cat staring into a mouse hole.
You will find that you never know what you will see.
Thoughts arise on their own. You play no role in their appearance.
Thinking is another matter.
For years, I judged myself harshly about the thoughts that came into my head. I used to think that there was something wrong with me having angry thoughts, jealous thoughts, sad thoughts, etc.
The mind is much like a computer. It spits out thoughts according to your programming—the cultural impressions you got as a child and through your unique life experiences.
Your thoughts are not who you are.
This leads to the final false belief.
False belief #7: I am what I think.
For most of my life, I was compulsively preoccupied with the contents of my mind. It almost filled the entire inner space.
Through meditation, I was able to create more and more space between myself and my thoughts and learned to observe them objectively and nonjudgmentally. look not thinking become idea.
I discovered that there was another dimension of my being, unaffected and unaffected by the stream of thoughts that passed through me.
The sky and cloud analogy is often used in meditation practice.
All kinds of clouds pass through the sky: dark clouds, light clouds, big clouds, small clouds, fast-moving clouds, slow-moving clouds, but the sky has no preferences and always remains the same.
I discovered that thoughts lost their power to influence my peace by learning that they were not ‘I’ and that they remained a witness.
When you leave your mind in peace and do your own thing, it will leave you in peace and do your thing.
Peace is your nature. Not a peace that comes and goes like a shifting cloud, not a peace studded with restless thoughts, but a constant peace of your being.
you are not what you think And knowing this is real peace.
