“When the door of happiness closes, another door opens. But we often stare at the closed door so long that we cannot see the open door.”
Helen Keller
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
mahatma gandhi
living a happier life be kinder to yourself It’s not just about what you can do.
But also for what you are already doing. Especially habits that have a negative and unhappy impact on your life.
So this week, I would like to share 9 such habits. And what I found very helpful in return.
1. Stop overthinking.
Overthinking can make any problem seem bigger and scarier than it really is. It can interfere with your life and actions.
What to do instead:
Set short decision deadlines.
For example: For small decisions like should I go to the laundry, start writing a new article, or start exercising, I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make the decision.
For larger decisions that previously took days or weeks to ponder, set deadlines for 30 minutes or at least the end of the working day.
Leave a simple reminder that you can’t help but look at every day.
The “Keep things very simple” note written on a whiteboard that I saw many times each day helped me a lot in minimizing overthinking over time.
2. Stop swimming in the sea of the most negative voices.
Our well-being is greatly influenced by the people around us and other factors.
If you’re swimming in a sea of negative people and information that draws you into fear, frustration, and helplessness, it limits your life.
What to do instead:
Of all the things that affect you, think about what the biggest wastes of time and energy are.
- Which one or two people are dragging you and your thoughts the most?
- Please select the one or two other sources that have the most negative impact, such as blogs, forums, books, magazines, social media channels, and TV shows.
Write down those answers. Next, think of 1-2 people and 1-2 other sources of information that lift you up and make you feel happiest about yourself and your life.
Decide to spend less time on the 2-4 negative causes and more time on the positive impacts you have listed.
3. Stop being trapped in the past or the future.
Spending too much time in the past usually causes us to relive old mistakes and failures and wish we could go back and do something about them.
And spending too much time thinking about the future usually causes worry and builds monstrous and nightmarish scenarios in your head.
What to do instead:
Spend more time in the present moment. You will feel lighter, things will feel easier, and you will be more perceptive to the small wonders of everyday life.
Just sit back and be still and remind yourself of what is happening. Then do one of the following:
- just breathe. Focus only on your breathing in and out for a few minutes.
- Focus only on what is happening around you right now. Use all five senses. Hear, see, smell and feel what is happening in this small part of the world at this very moment.
4. Stop setting the bar for happiness too high.
A common mistake I made was setting the bar for my happiness too high.
So I usually only felt happy when I achieved something big, executed something perfectly, or something unexpected and wonderful happened.
However, you don’t have to wait for such rare occasions to feel happy.
What to do instead:
As you get out of bed in the morning, say to yourself:
Today I lower the bar for happiness.
To remember to do this, write it down in a notebook or on your phone and consider seeing it first thing in the morning.
By doing so, it becomes less obvious. Naturally, you become more aware of what is happening in your life and more appreciative of what is there.
The food, the weather, the way you spend time with friends and pets, the little kindnesses, the little moments that go by so quickly.
That’s my experience with this practice at least. And it didn’t dampen my desire to achieve or get things done.
On the contrary, my daily life has become lighter. And the path to what you want to achieve is the one you can walk happier.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others can easily become a destructive and depressing daily habit.
You compare relationships, cars, careers, bodies, homes, and you end up with low self-esteem, negative thoughts flying through your head like a swarm of irritated bees, and feeling like a failure.
What to do instead:
Compare yourself to yourself. please look:
And don’t forget to celebrate small successes and progress.
This practice helps us see ourselves in a kinder and more beneficial light, and we feel energized by appreciating every step we take on our journey.
Instead of feeling exhausted and helpless to keep growing and moving towards what you want in life.
6. Don’t rush things too quickly.
We tend to feel more stressed when we’re speeding almost all the time when walking, talking, driving, or working.
Concentration becomes easily distracted and it becomes difficult to think clearly.
What to do instead:
slow down. Slow down when walking, talking, moving, driving and working. When I do that, it looks like this:
- The stress is blown away from the mind and body.
- You will be able to focus more naturally and in the moment.
- Enjoy more of life’s smells, sights, sounds and experiences.
7. Don’t push away what you feel deep inside.
It’s one thing to focus on the positive things in life.
But trying to push away your deepest feelings about something is another.
And even turning on your smile and trying to force yourself to be positive doesn’t usually lead to happiness.
What to do instead:
Let’s write and talk.
Don’t force positive thinking. If negative emotions and thoughts keep popping up, take a moment to reflect with yourself.
A paper and pen or a computer journal can help you think more clearly. Alternatively, you can talk to someone close to you about it.
Make a small plan.
Accept and process how you think and feel about this, and then write down a small plan to take action to get out of this situation and move into a better situation. Probably just one or two steps.
And then take small, practical first steps to get the ball moving.
8. Stop spending so little energy and attention on things that really matter to you.
It’s easy to get lost and waste hours of the day or week.
About things you might do out of habit or because you feel like you should. About busy work and things that honestly aren’t that important to you at the bottom of your heart.
What to do instead:
Check your priorities. Focus on what really matters to you.
Ask yourself. What are the top 4 most important things in my life this year?
Maybe it’s your family. Or your hobby, to become a better photographer. Or to be healthy and fit. Or an important project at work or in your own business.
Sit down, think hard, and narrow down what’s important to just what’s essential.
Next, get out your pen and a small piece of paper and write down just your top four priorities for the year.
Place the note in a place where you can’t help but look at it every day. like your workspace. Beside the mirror in the bathroom or on top of the refrigerator.
This will help you stay focused in the right direction each day.
9. Stop waiting for someone to make you happy.
Don’t make the common mistake of waiting for someone else to create the weeks, months, and years you want. That usually leads to long wait times and frustration.
What to do instead:
actively. Roll the ball yourself. Take action and take small steps to make the changes you need to create the life you want.
- Set a time for a coffee date or a night out at the pub Be with the most positive people in your life.
- set the bar for happiness low Jump and drag yourself out of bed in the morning and walk slowly today.
- sit down tonight and write it down 4 things that matter most to you this year.
And if it feels difficult and you start procrastinating, remember that you can always take small steps.
Do whatever it takes to reduce that mental barrier and start or reactivate again.
