“Life moves so fast. If you don’t stop and look around sometimes, you might miss it.” ~ Ferris Buehler
My life has been a series of changes for as long as I can remember.
I grew up moving around the world. From Canada to Pakistan, Egypt to Jamaica, Ghana to Ukraine and finally China to Australia.
Moving to a new country and adapting to a new culture is like a cold plunge into the whole system and way of being. I thought I had to get used to it quickly.
By the age of 6 or 7, I was always ready and ahead of every move. We thought of every possible scenario and mapped out how to survive. This technique helped me fly around the world saying goodbye to my best friend and immersing myself in a whole new culture over and over again.
But once I became an adult and took control of my life, I no longer needed to plan and prepare for my next move. I could live where I wanted and stay where I wanted. Still, my overthinking and planning continued.
Even though I had no intention of moving to another country, my body prepared for it anyway. It provided me with millions of scenarios. It prepared for heartbreaking goodbyes and awkward greetings.
I was obsessed with thinking and not thinking about getting academic grades. It was a mindset built on years of torment. But the worry is that you feel like you’re being more productive when in reality you’re feeling depleted anxiety.
Planning ahead makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing, and for years I’ve found this to be a very good and honest way to spend my time. Planning in endless detail and future scenarios seemed quite normal.
Apparently not.Apparently, some people deal with all situations May it come. They don’t spend time worrying preemptively or imagining every possible scenario that could unfold before things happen.
Instead, these particular people go about their daily lives and deal with challenges when they come across them. in an instant. They just handle the situation and move on. I can’t even imagine how calm and pleasant it must feel to have such a heart.
Now we are again at a crossroads. We are expats living in a country far from our family and raising our young daughter alone.
I’m debating whether to move closer to my husband’s parents’ house or closer to mine. We are trying to figure out what kind of jobs we can get, how much they can pay, and if we need to go back to school. We also want to do our best for you. We want to stick to our values, but we know we can’t have it all. I’m here.
My old self is nurturing to plan, prepare and organize a potential new life. I hate living in uncertainty. But with so many possible scenarios, sitting down and thinking about it all will make your head explode. When I think about the life that awaits me, let alone the life I miss now.
It’s summer in Australia now.The days are long, warm and humid, just the way I like it.As much as I feel like I need to spend every waking moment planning and worrying, I want to enjoy my life. increase now.
The other day, I went to the beach with my husband and one-year-old daughter. It was a sunny and hot day and as we were getting ready to leave, I was worried about finding parking. “It’s okay, I’ll go home if there’s no parking lot.” I reassured myself and said to myself:
We drove to the beach and miraculously found parking very close to the water. We found a tiny little spot under a rock with some shade so no one gets burned. My husband took my daughter and they went underwater.
I put on a long-sleeved shirt and a responsible hat and headed back into the shade to take pictures as usual. A cheerful voice inside me said. “Let’s go swimming, let’s enjoy the sun!” After a long time, I decided to go into the water.
The water was a little cold. I like it when it’s very warm, but I paddled anyway. I ignored my fear of sharks and my fear of getting burned and just enjoyed the water.
My husband wanted to do a few laps, so I took my daughter and sat on the beach. Gentle waves lapping at our feet, she looked up at me and smiled.
My daughter stared in amazement as I grabbed a handful of wet sand and a complex mass formed on my bare feet. I didn’t notice. She let out a cry of joy as I started building little sandcastles on her feet.
I remembered that I didn’t put sunscreen on my back. Very pedantic about sunscreen. We wondered if we should move to the little shaded spot we found on the dry sand.But we had so much fun we didn’t want to leave. So we stayed.
Waves came again and again, washing away the sand castles we had built. Her husband came out of the water and joined us. I felt a lot of love and happiness in that moment. I wanted to run to my purse and take a picture of how happy we were.
When I finally got home, my back was burned. Usually this really bothers me. I know people who have died from skin cancer and I do everything I can to avoid getting burned. fine.
I had so much fun on the beach that tears came to my eyes when I remembered it. I can’t remember the last time I was so fully present, alive, and enthusiastic.
The voice of anxiety often pulls me out of my life and tries to protect me by making me think about all the things that can go wrong and how best to avoid them. It wasn’t even a battle. It felt natural to have another soothing voice take center stage.
I know I can’t plan everything. But I am confident that I am taking steps in the direction that feels right.I believe that whatever comes, I can handle it. Life goes by quickly. You don’t want to miss the special moment of building a castle in the sand with your little family.
