Some countdowns are fun. Whether it’s the New Year’s Eve ball drop, the countdown to the end of the working day on Friday, or the days approaching your birthday.
Counting down the average length of relationships before a breakup isn’t one of them.
In fact, many people worry about their 3-month relationship freakout.
Is there truth in this 12-week dating boot camp?
What is the 3 month rule for dating?
While this rule isn’t formally written down in the dating bible, it’s said to be a “make or fail” milestone in a relationship.
If you haven’t jiveted at the three-month mark, it’s the San Andreas fault line in a relationship where everything can fall apart, rocking the two of you.
The underlying theory of the 3-month dating rule is unknown and vague, but it is true that it is universally accepted.
- Three months is enough to know if the relationship has long-term potential.
- A period of three months is short enough that each person can escape without being seriously injured.
- For three months, each party can experience the thrill of a new relationship, with adjustment time built in for the realities of a committed relationship.
It’s important to note that at the end of a relationship, there is another 3-month relationship rule. In that case, the rules state that you must wait three months after breaking up to be ready for another fishing session in the dating pool.
How long do most relationships last?
The skewed data that can answer this question makes dating seem as exciting as a Mean Girls Mathlete contest.
For example, one answer to this question is “Adult divorce statistics show that couples who spend more time together are less likely to break up.” Is it even science to state the obvious?
Do you really want to know how many months after most couples break up?
According to statistics, 2 years and 9 months.
However, many factors contribute to that number.
- Age: Younger age groups tend to have shorter relationships.
- Gender Identity: Same-sex couples are less likely to break up than heterosexual couples.
- Culture: People feel less pressure to have committed relationships that lead to marriage, and some prefer exclusive titles that may lengthen, shorten, or erase the relationship length landscape. I do not like.
Whether you’ve just met someone, been in a relationship for four months, or just been dating for five months, it’s essential to know the average length of a relationship.
Doesn’t it go crazy in 3 months?
Are you a dumping person all the time? Those questions should be investigated.
Why Do Relationships End After 3 Months? 11 Possible Reasons You Should Watch Out For
The average length of a relationship before a breakup can be insightful even looking back at your history, and it’s also important to know your partner’s dating history to help you look for red flags.
1. The “love hormone” dies
Oxytocin is produced when you feel connected, and new love floods your body with this “love hormone.”
The novelty of relationships continues to produce chemicals as we explore new activities and intimacy with new people.
This is the same hormone that binds women and babies together. In fact, a 2021 study shows that higher levels of oxytocin in the first months of a relationship may indicate the potential for long-term love.
2. Drama
Whether you’re a drama queen or he’s a Devo, initial excitement and boundary-setting can mask some of the more important concerns, such as jealousy and neediness.
No one wants to spend their life being scrutinized or cyberstalked during their individual activities.
There is little hope of long-term love if the drama is constant or if someone succeeds in it.
3. Factors of non-compliance
Sometimes opposites attract and stimulate each other, like vinegar and oil. Other times the mixture is gasoline and fire. “Why do couples break up after 3 months?” The answer in this case is simple.
The initial attraction to trying new things in the name of impressing each other wears off and you may not want to go rock climbing every weekend for the rest of your life.
4. Dealbreaker
Even the best online profile shows only the positive side of a person. When choosing a date, we are attracted to body type, the rhythm of conversation, and “butterfly”.
No one puts up their profile or says on a first date that they are messy and unchanging and that they don’t want kids. Previous criminal activity rarely reflects on his Tinder profile.
Young people still need to find a deal-breaker and may not know how much they can tolerate their partner’s condescending mother.
5. “Squirrel!”
Doug the golden retriever from the Pixar movies Up, It was easy to get distracted by squirrels during conversations. There are so many “squirrel” moments in the current dating world. We are impatient, distracted and careless.
When you date someone in the first three months you are probably not committed. I have.
6. Perfect man/woman
We overlook a lot of things because the hormone-stimulated rush of relationships makes us feel like we’ve found the right person. You can meet the demands of the man or woman of your dreams.
Ultimately, you’ll either discover that nothing is perfect, like shoes that don’t fit your feet, or you’ll find your way through the woods in search of Prince Charming.
7. Monotonous Problems
Getting to know someone should be fun and exciting, and there should be the potential to continue building relationships for years and even decades.
If you’re bored by date 6 (eating at the same restaurant, having the same corny conversations, getting intimate without the “fireworks”), then things won’t get any more exciting after 3 months. Very little to be expected.
8. Mask
We tend to show our best qualities when we first get to know each other. After all, we want them to fall in love with us before they realize we’ve taken over all our closets, right? Pursue each other with tenacious energy.
It’s a tough routine to keep up with, and at about the three-month mark, I want to ditch my mask and be myself when I should have been doing it in the first place.
9. Supply
A stunning 2020 Pew Research survey showed that half of all single adults are not seeking a relationship.
Also, more than 10% were only looking for casual dates. Additionally, 20% were unsure of what they wanted but were open to casual dating and committed relationships.
That means only 14% of single adults want a relationship of 3 months or longer. It’s a shallow dating pool.
Other related articles
You Moved In Together But Things Are Unsettled Now: 13 Relationship Problems After Moving In
23 Signs A Gunslinger Is Serious About You You Should Know
21 Surprising Psychological Facts You Should Know About Soulmates
10. Need for Independence
Confusion builds up when we are not against relationships but still want to be fiercely independent. Suddenly you have to tell someone where you’re going, what you’re doing, and when you’re going home.
We have to respect that they want to go to the soccer game on Sunday, the day of yoga and meditation. Even a surge of oxytocin isn’t always powerful enough to bring independent people together.
Proper communication, trust, and negotiation with understanding and respect are required.
11. Mirage
Going over the 3-month rule isn’t necessarily a good thing. If one party is abused or completely afraid to be alone, it can be a long-lasting but toxic relationship.
Fear of starting over or being alone on vacation can keep us well past the expiration date of a relationship.
Avoid the temptation to simply stay with the lesser of the two evils.
It’s hard to break up after 3 months, but it’s even harder after 12 months or 2 years and 9 months.
final thoughts
Stop worrying about the three-month relationship curse and focus more on what you get out of your relationship. Are you creating space for each other in your life? Can you communicate well?
These things are much more important than random timelines that only cause stress and anxiety. It will move happily even after it passes.
