You try to be kind and try to do your best.
Yet someone, or group of people, in your life treats you meanly, no matter what you do.
This situation has you wondering: Why are people so mean to me?
We work on the answers below by exploring why people are mean and what you can do about it.
Let’s dive in.
Why are people mean to nice people?
We are taught to be kind and respectful, but we fall short of that ideal.
Some have bad personalities, some go through bad times with a hard time.
Here are some common reasons why being mean to people who have done nothing wrong is much more common than many realize.
- anxiety: Anxiety can lead to deplorable behavior. It grabs a person’s reasoning and demands that others feel as bad as they do. There is likely to be.
- projection: Mean, immature, and narcissistic people often project their negative emotions onto others. It’s about taking out their bad feelings on the people around them.
- Misconceptions and Misconceptions: Anyone can be misunderstood, whether mean or good. For example, if a person is unfamiliar with kind people, they may view friendly people as unfaithful and become skeptical, which can lead to cruelty.
- Difference in culture: In some cultures, kindness is synonymous with weakness. In cases like this, spiteful behavior can be rewarded, and people act accordingly.
Why Are People So Mean To Me? 13 Possible Reasons
We’ve covered some common dynamics that cause people to treat nice people spitefully. Now let’s dive into some examples and specific reasons.
1. I’m jealous of your personality
People get jealous for a variety of reasons, and sometimes others might envy your personality.
You can meet people in a certain place, laugh easily, overcome adversity, and always see the good in people and situations.
In some cases, they may think of themselves as great people, but your chipper, positive demeanor, and ability to roll with punches make them realize they’re not necessarily who they thought they were. .
You didn’t deliberately cause them a crisis of conscience, but they will resent you.
2. Want what you have
Do you enjoy a nice life filled with the things people generally crave? It could be a great place, car or boat, or they might envy your style or work. Bottom line: they want what you have.
The green-eyed monster becomes especially aggressive and nasty when the materialist meets “everything”.
They stumble until they find their flaws, and they settle their ego by sticking to it for a life they love.
So if you’re thinking, “Everybody’s mean to me,” the reason might be as simple as they want what you have.
3. You are different
Everyone thinks they are non-judgmental and would never dislike someone because of their appearance or other social or cultural differences.
But the brain is a complex organ, and it doesn’t always work the way we expect, think, or understand.
It’s complicated, but simply put, our minds take shortcuts. Unspoken suggestions and past experiences greatly influence how we think and interpret the world around us. Ultimately, we all have prejudices that we are not aware of.
So if you’re different from most people in your community, people can be mean for bad reasons that have nothing to do with you. And the kicker is that they may not realize it!
4. They excel at the mundane
Are you gifted and focused? Will you pick up your instrument on Monday and be able to play it decently by Friday? Or maybe you have a knack for words, numbers, or art.
If so, you probably attract “assholes” – especially if they want to be the “best” at everything. believes in you and regards you as inferior.
They won’t recognize your talent or accuse you of being given an opportunity you “didn’t deserve.”
they may be unfriendly. It’s unfair and infuriating, but staying true to yourself can help you weather the storm.
5. They want to teach you a “lesson”
Not all behavior perceived as mean is nasty. Sometimes people are just trying to teach you a lesson.
Nobody is perfect. Not even the “nice” you. Sometimes we say inappropriate things that deserve consideration. In cases like this, people may be “mean” to show you where you’re wrong.
So while you may feel “attacked”, it’s actually your fault. Someone just pointed that fact out.
Other times, their motives are more insidious and they are actually trying to control you. This behavior is typical among narcissists.
6. You make them feel bad about themselves
We have established that human perfection is impossible. Even Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa had problems. So there comes a time when kind people make others uncomfortable.
but Mindfulness can helpYou can prevent awkward conversations and situations by learning to breathe and think in the moment. Silver bullets don’t exist. We are all bundles of emotions and sometimes we fail. it is a given.
However, developing compassion and patience can go a long way and help you avoid failure.
7. They’re going through a rough patch
Sometimes life can feel like a rickety, reckless roller coaster that almost goes off the rails. It’s horrible.
And when doomed or gloomy, humans go into survival mode.
When people are scratching or crawling, they are often rude and suspicious and look at others through junk-colored glasses.
8. Dealing with emotional issues
Mental health and physical health are equally important. In some ways it is more important. After all, our mind processes all information on both a conscious and subconscious level.
When the turmoil subsides and they wrestle with difficult emotions, they can see the worst of it all and act accordingly, leading to random acts of meanness.
9. You want attention
Some people want attention in any way and are willing to sabotage others to get it. If you have to do it, so be it! People of this type may have serious problems and take pleasure in making others miserable.
Unfortunately, these types of people are becoming displaced. Because in our digital age, hate and scandal sells better than kindness and harmony.
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10. Shallow and arrogant
Some arrogant bullies derive their self-esteem from feeling superior to others. They are small, shallow people with huge egos that cannot be seen beyond the surface.
These types tend to harass good people who don’t fit their narrowly enforced ignorant standards of what constitutes “good.”
Many people go the extra mile by being disrespectful to individuals they deem inferior. Even more so if you are a kind person! After all, kind people are hard to bite.
11. You are Toxic Positive
Is it as fun as it gets worse? Do you insist on positivity 24/7? do you like to say
Yes, whining and constant complaining can be as much fun as spoiled milk and rotten eggs, but so is insisting that everything will always be fine. And if you fit into either category, people are more likely to be mean to you.
12. Poor communication
Some people are not elegant with words and suffer from foot and mouth disease.
Sometimes not thinking before speaking can be a problem. It can also be a social, cultural, or environmental difference. In other words, one person’s “nice” is another’s “rude”.
If you think this is a problem and want to quench your beef, try changing the way you talk to the person and see if that helps.
13. They Don’t Like You (For No/Bad Reasons)
Humans are complex and confusing, and not everyone is for everyone. Sometimes people don’t like you for no particular reason.
Being the object of someone’s unexplained disdain is hurtful and embarrassing. But it’s important not to internalize their behavior.
You are most likely doing nothing wrong and worrying about other people’s peccadilloes is a waste of time.
What to do when someone is mean to you for no reason
We’ve explored why people are mean to friendly people.
think about your role
Being unnecessarily hard on ourselves is common, but the human brain can benefit from doubt.
So people tend to play the role of the victim when they do something wrong.
So before blaming others, consider whether it is possible that you are wholly or partially at fault. I might.
talk to friends
Talking openly about the situation with a friend can make you feel better and may even help you see things in a new light. You may be looking too deeply into the situation. Help your friends check it.
Or they may wholeheartedly agree with you and provide the support they need to let it go and move away from the person with the problem.
Talking to a therapist can also help if the situation is seriously affecting your daily life.
If there are people in your life who are mean to you for some reason and it’s out of your control, your best option is to walk away. They aren’t worth your effort—especially if their disrespect is born out of jealousy, emotional turmoil, or life’s hardships.
Do your best not to internalize your toxicity and focus on your life. However, holding grudges is bad for your health, so try to forgive them and give them grace!
It never feels good to be bullied, shunned, or teased, but learning how to deal with adversaries is an important life lesson.
If Nemesis is haunting your life, don’t let them ruin it.
You need to self-reflect to make sure you aren’t causing discord, but you shouldn’t take it personally as it likely has nothing to do with their bad behavior.