Having an affair with a married man can be isolating and painful, especially if you are unable to talk to friends or family because of embarrassment or embarrassment.
With all the judgment and hurt on this topic, when a married man abuses and uses you, it’s like salt to the hurt.
Let’s talk about the signs men are using women and how to deal with or cut the ropes.
Luckily for those stuck in this cycle, the signs are very easy to read.
Why Married Men Take Advantage Of The Women They’re Dating?
How we got to this point is now irrelevant. The key is to learn why this is happening and how to identify the red flags.
For some answers, we’ll go directly to a recent study that explained the motivations of married men to have side pieces.
- They are unhappy: As marriages become stale and sex becomes a chore, married men can no longer find happiness at home (research shows most have tried), and their Just look for external stimuli to fill in the gaps.
- They are not appreciated: Ego issues arise when a man feels that his wife is always nagging and that he is acting inadequately. As soon as a man feels that someone will provide that gratitude, he uses it as a lifeline without letting his own family fall apart.
- The opportunity just presented itself: Many married men have no intention of cheating, but the convenience of social media and online forums can put wolves in single women’s chicken coops.
- I don’t think they are using women: “The other woman” may present you with no-strings-tie opportunities and claim that she wants nothing serious. Then emotions get in the way and the tables are turned.
17 Difficult Signs A Married Man Is Using You
It’s a maze of lies and relationship legitimacy that’s hard to navigate.
I know he’s married, but that comes with rules, but when does he cross the line?
Only you can decide that.
1. I can’t get in touch with him.
Married men can compartmentalize life choices and responsibilities. You are a very special compartment that cannot interact with other compartments. If you control all communication, even if it’s just a few seconds of chat in the middle of the night.
An even clearer sign of being used is that he must wait or wait for this contact at the cost of his own life. Another red flag.
2. He talks too much about his wife.
Most married men who cheat never fall in love with their wives. They just lose a certain connection and you fill in your voice. It is possible that they only have motives.
You’re already obsessed with filling the void in him, so make it happen. It’s a focus.
3. He cancels the plan at the last minute.
Married men are at the mercy of family obligations. That means a sick child, a wife in need of help, or a housework weekend he never thought was coming. When his wife starts to doubt something, he devotes 100% of his time to her and dispels her doubts.
I often get dissed at the last minute. Even if it’s not a property, there’s a good chance it’s being used.
4. He manipulates you emotionally.
A woman involved with a married man rushes to be a more valuable possession and more desirable than his wife. It may sound perverse, but everyone loves to be loved. However, when a married man starts a game with such feelings, he crosses the line.
When asked where he was and why he didn’t call, he uses phrases like: “I already have it at home. I don’t need it from you.” He lacks respect and may be taking advantage of you.
5. He goes back and forth as he pleases.
A married man has no responsibilities towards you, at least in his mind. After he disappears for a few weeks, he stops thinking about you. Women aren’t designed to understand compartmentalization, so it’s hard for them to understand.
He also intends to use time as currency. For example, he spends the weekend with you and then doesn’t call you for two weeks. He feels he has “paid his dues” for you and can come and go like the turnstiles in your life.
6. He becomes very perverted in bed.
A married man may be perfectly happy in all parts of a relationship except his sex life. I would like to experience that aspect. He may want to try a threesome with you or go to a swinger club.
Then there’s the legendary excuse for the Mafia to have a girlfriend on their side. If he only sees you for rough or rough sex, he may be using you to fulfill his fantasies.
7. He only offers here and now.
No one dreams of meeting a married man and taking him away from his wife, but it happens. is. If your married man isn’t planning a future with you, he’s probably just enjoying the best of both worlds.
When he brings up his plans for the future, the red flags start turning into emergency sirens, which he either shuts down or gets mad at.
8. He only talks about himself and never asks about you.
When the relationship is budding, we want to get to know each other, even if it is extramarital. Goals, dreams and beliefs should be shared.
A married man who just wants a side piece won’t even know his cat’s name or his favorite drink. they don’t care
This is especially true for men who feel castrated or unappreciated by their wives. You’re there to build him up, not happily sell your own version.
9. He likes the risk and threat of being caught.
Stealing a kiss in the hallway or an afternoon shag in the bathroom will give you both an adrenaline rush. When something new happens, whether it’s cheating or not, the same endorphins rush in and sweep us away.
If he’s constantly trying to find new ways to “nearly” get caught, he’s probably looking for the thrill of the hunt.
As with any relationship, the new will wear off and as soon as you stop getting excited, he’ll find someone to provide a fresh rush.
10. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
Having an affair is a big deal. It’s part of their nature, and married men who say “men weren’t meant to be monogamous” have no respect for any woman.
The fact that it’s no big deal to him means that no one is respected in the situation other than him, and even that is debatable.
Someone will get hurt in this situation, and it’s likely you. If he doesn’t mind it, he’s taking advantage of you unless you get hurt.
11. He accuses you of cheating.
Men don’t want to take responsibility unless they have to, and they will try to express their guilt by blaming you. It’s your fault that you seduced him. You shouldn’t have worn that dress. You started it. All these excuses make him look like a victim of your prowess.
If he appears to be with you as a victim or hostage, he’s probably taking advantage of you, but he’ll keep coming back.
12. He meets you at a strange time and place.
Men who have something to hide change their hookups geographically and chronologically. Drive 20 miles to the other side of the road, or maybe have dinner on the “early riser” special.
The simple paranoia of getting caught can be as powerful as the plot of an affair, so if he hides you, he’s unlikely to seek you out for long-term commitments in the future. .
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13. You cannot friend or follow him on social media.
As a compartmentalized part of his life, he can’t risk a new female friend being added or someone suddenly liking all the pictures of him at the gym.
He can accept your requests, but he can also unfollow, hide, or remove you from his list to keep you in the dark while you go unnoticed. be careful.
If you are not allowed to connect to social media or are prevented from liking or commenting on his posts, he may use you for specific needs not found in social forums. There is a possibility that
14. I have no vacation plans with him.
Goddamn, he won’t call you to celebrate Labor Day, let alone give you part of the Christmas week. can be He may promise to exchange gifts together, but it is always written.
You may receive the gift on January 8th.
15. He won’t let you take pictures of him (G-rated or not).
The scammer must be kept secret and those photos can and will be used against him in (divorce) court. Those photos give you power and control. I will give it to you.
He might also be expecting you to send him smoldering sexy pics.
16. He leaves when it’s no longer fun.
Even serious cases have their bumpy patches, but married men who take advantage of the situation disappear like D.B. Cooper.
With no evidence of cheating, aside from the text messages (which may have been forged and sent to a burner phone that he claims or his wife doesn’t know about), he never met you in life. Act like you never did. .
When this goes to extremes, he even threatens a restraining order because he fears for his family’s safety.
17. He hasn’t introduced you to anyone else.
Even married men who are legally separated are technically still married. If you’ve never been married, here’s what you should know. In the final divorce decree, the judge asks, “Is there any way to save this marriage?”
One is more likely to plead with the other to come back until both parties say no.
No matter how good your excuses are, men who don’t want you on the social scene may be using you as a rebound or revenge.
How To Deal With Married Player Signs
Relationships with married men usually end in tears.
Even if your wife finds out, there is a good chance she will forgive and heal. You are left alone with your emotional baggage and feel overwhelmed. So what should you do now that you are in this deep place?
- Accept it for what it is. Use your judgment and if this situation works for you, deal with it. Can only be used if someone else has done it. Make it mutually beneficial on your own terms.
- Get therapy to understand. Some women prefer relationships with married men because they fear commitment. This is a surefire way to reap the benefits of a relationship without the ‘balls and chains’.
- Give an ultimatum when you are ready. At some point, you’ll want to move into a more committed relationship or stay out of the cheating drama. Set boundaries, stick to them, and walk away when it starts going wrong.
final thoughts
Even in the best-case scenario, one person in this situation is known as a scammer and is forever labeled a homewrecker. Whatever the outcome, your self-esteem and self-love will suffer.
Take care of yourself to make the best choices, but don’t get used to making someone else happy.
