As your marriage progresses, you may need to take a step back to move in a new direction. When we see a negative cycle spiraling out of control in our relationship, it’s easy to want to throw out everything we have in order to “fix” the problem. We can run away feeling defeated and powerless to change a broken space in a relationship. No), the most powerful thing we can do is to step back, pause, and invite God into our turmoil. Psalm 46:10 “Stay still. Know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, and I will be exalted on earth.” It reminds us that He does his best when he still takes an attitude of surrender before God.
This space is not the kind of space where I’m so sick of you that I don’t want to talk to you again. As a spouse, you are the one who deliberately chose to stay still. In these moments of tranquility, we are reminded that it is God who empowers us to be called spouses! It is a place where we can fulfill not only our needs, but also the biblical call to serve one another in love.Galatians 5:13).
In this space of humble, prayerful invitations, or sometimes powerful and desperate cries for help to the Great God, we can step back and have the grace to calm the waters of our relationship. When we relinquish our rights and control and realize that only God can heal the wounded place between us, we poke and pester each other about the same old mistakes. We are free to start to forgive each other for the growing pain that wants to tear us apart.
Standing still may seem like choosing to give reprieve when things don’t go according to plan rather than pointing out all the shortcomings. It may even appear to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-40). Biblical marriage is one of humility, sacrificial love, and forgiveness.
Prayer is our weapon in this holy place of invitation! We can call upon Heaven’s angelic armies to do what only God can do in our homes. It takes such trust and humility to lay down our own weapons of war It is a deep surrender to let go of the right to defend ourselves and trust God to be our protector and guide. We are not alone in this battle. God is with us and gives us the strength to step back and love our partner.
Here are some prayers for your struggling marriage:
1. Prayer of Forgiveness
Ephesians 4:32 Forgive one another, be kind and considerate, as God forgave you in Christ.
Father, grant each of us strength, grace, patience and wisdom to show your kindness and compassion. Can you reveal how the roots of bitterness that poisoned our relationship have not been allowed? Open our hearts and experience Your miraculous gift of forgiveness. May I follow your example of loving beyond reason. Help us stop counting mistakes and embrace your example of amazing grace in our homes. Amen.
Ephesians 5:33 But let your wife understand that each of you loves her as yourself and respects her husband.
God, give us the ability to see each other as you see us. Teach me how to love my spouse. Help them focus on their gifts, talents, service and love. Open our eyes to the reality of the infinite mercy you have bestowed upon each of us. Give us the strength to respect each other with love and respect. Give yourself the self-control and humility to stop and listen to each other before defending yourself. Let love and respect permeate our interactions. Amen.
3. Prayer for New Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind. Love is neither jealous nor boastful. It is neither arrogant nor disrespectful. It does not claim its own way. I don’t get annoyed or resentful. Rejoice not in evil deeds, but in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Prophecies pass away. I will stop speaking in tongues. As for knowledge, it passes.
Thank you God, God of love, for teaching us to be like you. I am so grateful that your words have taught us how to follow your path and that you have given us practical advice for our lives. May you help me to become Give us both the ability to be patient, kind, and humble, to protect each other, to let go of resentment, and to rejoice in all things. Bear with the heavy things we have endured. Give them hope in the darkest seasons of their lives! Bless them with lasting love that will last a lifetime. Bless each of us with a heart of love for one another. Amen.
4. Wisdom Prayer
Jacob 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let me ask God.
God, grant us the wisdom we need to move forward step by step in each marriage. Speak to your heart about wise next steps for our marriage and family. Help us overcome the distractions thrown at us so we can follow your narrow path. Silence the confusion, discouragement, distractions and temptations that seek to fool us. Help us to trust You and follow You in all of our days. Amen.
If you need a new direction, God invites you to pause for a moment before looking for self-help articles again. I want you to go see him before you get stuffed. There is another option involving God’s miraculous powers of marriage healing! It goes against all our instincts to escape, defend, justify, or correct. Remembering that He controls all the threads that make up your life together, God invites Him to do the work of restoration that only He can do. Seek Him first, then find a new way forward together.
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