Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my relationship history and how often I’ve done unpleasant things instead of speaking up.
It’s easy to blame only the men I’ve been with, but staying silent rather than telling them my wants and needs or telling them when they’re over my limit I realized that I had done my part.
I have encouraged my own rudeness by swallowing my truth and smiling when I feel really uncomfortable.
I know everyone’s experience is different, but if you can relate to what I wrote, you might appreciate these reminders I wrote for myself.
Tell him he hurt you.
Tell him you weren’t ready when he rolled on you and broke into you.
Tell him you’re frozen. You were shocked by the speed with which he moved.
Tell him that you feel like you don’t exist in your body.
Even if you kissed him and lay down with him on the bed with your body close, tell him you weren’t ready.
Tell him you were scared to tell him these things.
Tell him that for most of your life you have kept your feelings to yourself and were afraid to speak your truth.
Tell him that you thought he was the key that opened the door to your happiness.
Tell him that you knew he would come back again and again if you continued to have sex with him.
Tell him what you’ve learned and what he’s taught you.
Tell him you love him.
Tell him that you understand he couldn’t see beyond his desires.
Tell him that you know the pain inflicted was unintentional. It was subconsciously embedded in society and individual desires.
Tell him you are healed.
Please tell him to agree.
Tell him to spend time with women.
Tell him what you think he is, what you feel in your bones.
Please tell him you were wrong.
Tell him that you used him without realizing it because he felt like home.
Tell him you are perfect.
Tell him that you have found the key to happiness and that it is in your heart.
Tell him you forgive him.
Tell him you forgive yourself.
Tell him that you appreciate all the warnings about the realities of your relationship, such as blocking your number or ignoring you from time to time.
Tell him that you’ve decided to ignore how emotionally unavailable he is because you’re also struggling to get over your desires.
Tell him that you wanted to do something different, but it’s not easy to break old patterns.
Therefore, they often avoid difficult conversations. Avoid feeling the pain or simply discomfort of being honest.
I think that starting an uncomfortable conversation like this is healing. If you acknowledge the role you played in the situation and acknowledge other perspectives. How much progress would you make if you stopped blaming and started speaking your truth?
I have pushed my truth down my whole life. These truths are coming out, so my goal is not to condemn.
My goal is to have a conversation so that perhaps we can all understand each other a little better.
My goal is to learn what role I played in these events and how I can improve on it.
My goal is to make being uncomfortable be comfortable. All I know now is that you can only silence your truth for a very long time. Space to push things down is limited. come out. why wait till you get sick