Why Skills Matter More Than Goals

This is the time when the most productive and growth-minded people sit down and focus on their goals, their identities, and who they want to be in the fucking world. He might like to set some goals, make a list, and check it twice. Then, like most people, I quit my gym membership in February and went back to exactly where I was the year before.

I’ve written quite a bit about goals and New Year’s resolutions in the past. Unlike most personal growth rituals, I’ve always refrained from saying my New Year’s resolutions. do you believe There is something psychologically significant about the change of age. We divide our lives into years and conceptualize our identities in years. So it makes sense that the turn of the year coincides with introspection and recalibration of one’s values.

Instead, what I usually do is talk shit about goals. how they can backfire. They are often short-sighted and set up for the wrong reasons.

But I’ve been doing it for years and you can read about it on their website.

Instead, this year, I want to talk about something that borders on goals but is arguably far more important: skills.

Because every year, everyone talks about losing 10 pounds, changing jobs, or getting a raise. They talk about motives, identities, beliefs, persistence and all that crap.

But no one is talking about the skills needed to do it.

I don’t mean “how to lift a barbell” skill. I mean much more subtle skills.

It’s a skill that “gets up even if you don’t like it”. Reason: Yes, it’s a skill. You can improve with practice, and you can forget if you stop.

The skill “Decline Dessert” is directly linked to the skill “Glare other people eating dessert in front of you”. It’s a skill I’m happy to report that I’m getting closer to turning pro after spending most of my life as an amateur.

You can set goals for finding relationships. However, few people consider adopting and learning new relationship skills. People say, “I want to meet someone special this year.” No one says, “I want to connect more with others,” or “I want to learn how to be more vulnerable and admit my flaws.”

These are also skills. They develop over time, are acquired through experience, and can be consciously practiced and cultivated within oneself.

So my question to you is: What skills would you like to develop this year?

It’s not “Who do you want to be in 2022?”

…but “What are you doing? Is doing In 2022? ”

what are you improving? What have you learned and what have you gained? Instead of thinking about what you want to accomplish in the new year, ask yourself, “What am I good at that I’m not good at?”

Then let’s work on it.

And the beauty of focusing on skill is that it never ends. The old cliché is that we all set goals in January and give up by February. But if you focus on your skills, no matter how bad you are, February, March and he can work all year long.

Last month I wrote about self-help in terms of developing a personal growth skill set. Managing emotions is a skill. Setting boundaries is a skill. Finding purpose and passion in what you do is a skill. In many ways, self-esteem is even a skill.

That’s why Mark Manson’s premium subscription includes tools to help you develop these personal growth skills. Specifically his six skills: resilience, managing emotions, relationships, finding purpose, challenging his beliefs, and realizing his values.

Each “skill” has its own course, including instructional videos, printable guided workbooks, and numerous hands-on exercises. Watch a video, read a book, go out and try, fail miserably, or come back and get a little better for the next lesson.

These courses are designed to crystallize the process that was originally laid out Subtle art that doesn’t fuckImplement each of the required skills step by step and, well, never mind.

Now think about what skills you want to improve this year. Write it down and try to plan how you will approach it. You can use a premium subscription or do it yourself. I don’t give a fuck

and me? Well, I think I still need to hone the skill of “I get angry when I see people eating dessert in front of me”. Also, the “stop with two tacos” skill that I didn’t have before.

I’ll let you know when these two are decided.