You’ve probably heard the saying that the more love you have for each other, the richer your marriage gets year after year.
But maybe you don’t feel love. Or experience depth.
Maybe you’re just seeing how your spouse has changed over the years.
After 32 years of marriage, I have learned that love is not what we always do. feltIt’s an action, not an emotion. And that’s what God expects us to continue to do, whether we feel that way or not.
(I also learned that when spouses start complaining that they’ve changed, they often believe we changed as much).
while writing a book When a couple walks together, when a woman inspires her husband and 12 ways to have more fun with your husbandI interviewed about 100 couples between 10 and 50 years of marriage to find out how they keep their love alive. From those interviews, along with my own personal experience in marriage, I came up with the following list of her three factors. keep Our spouses have changed and we’ve loved each other over the years, even though our feelings haven’t shown up.
And the amazing thing about this list is when we our The part that we love regardless of our feelings, God Appear and, again and again, in His grace, retrieve those feelings.
The Kind of Love God Wants in Our Marriage
God designed marriage to work perfectly. And I think Adam and Eve had no problem loving each other before sin became an issue. After all, they were each innocent and perfect.
Yet their sin created a whole new impetus for every marriage (Genesis 3). As a result of the presence of sin in our lives, the only natural “love” is the infatuation we had when we first met her spouse.
When you and I first got married, we saw what we wanted to see in our spouses. “Love is blind,” they say. And over the years, our eyes have been opened to reality and we see many things we might not have wanted to see at first.
It turns out that our spouse is a sinner. We saw that they could let us down and cause us pain, and they saw in us the same sins and abilities.
But agape love–divine love–sees all, not yet I love it. God knows everything about us, including our imperfections, and still loves us.
God knows what is lurking in our minds and hearts, He knows not only our past sins, but also our future sins. not yet spread love. God loves us unconditionally and loves us regardless of who we really are. is.
Jesus said John 13:34“A new command I give you: love one another. as i loved you We must love each other. ” Jesus loved us by giving his life for us. He showed us sacrificial, patient and lasting love. By doing so, the Lord taught him how to love his spouse.
Here are three ways to love your spouse over the years based on how Jesus loves us.
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1. Show sacrificial love
As human beings, and therefore as sinners, it is easy to put ourselves first.
I am ashamed to think of the example of my Lord, who washed the feet of his disciples and died for the sins of mankind. My selfishness shows up in my marriage more than I realize and I’m sure her husband sees it.Of course it’s not Calvary love.
Calvary Love, or sacrificial Love – die to self. Calvary love puts another first. The love of Calvary is ‘Yours, not my will’; ‘Yours, not my happiness’; ‘Yours, not my taste’; yours,” he says.
how can our spouse no When we show them such sacrificial love, are we encouraged, inspired, and motivated to love us?
Yes, God created marriage to be equally fulfilling for both partners. But because we are sinners, at least one of them must yield and be different from the others. At least one of us must choose to become more Christlike. Showing sacrificial love to your spouse is asking yourself, “What is it costing me?”
It is a joy to love your spouse early in your marriage. But as the years go by and the pressures of life mount, it becomes more difficult to show that love consistently. It is not sacrificial because love is for us.
Such love can bring us inconvenience, delay, and setbacks. Sacrificial love can also sacrifice our own desires. But such love is worth it.It is our spouse, and to God that we do I know about Calvary love.
2. Practice persistent love
The Bible often tells us that God’s great affectionateagain immovable love which last forever (1 Chronicles 16, 2 Chronicles 7, Psalm 136).some translations call it his constant loveIt is love that continues regardless of the conditions.
The most complete description of love found in the Bible is: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7This verse, quoted in many weddings, describes unfailing love – lasting love.
Here is a beautiful picture of God’s love and we are instructed to practice this love towards others, especially our spouses.
Love is patient and kind. Love is neither jealous nor boastful. It is neither arrogant nor disrespectful. It does not claim its own way. I don’t get annoyed or resentful. Do not rejoice in injustice, rejoice in truth.Love bear Everything, I believe Everything, hope Everything, endure Everything” (ESV, emphasis added).
did you catch it? The New International Version of the Bible says that love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always endures.” If the last line didn’t convince your mind enough, take a look at the opening words of the next verse. There is more to say about this love that we should practice.
If so, there would be fewer marriages to struggle with today one All marriage partners practiced that definition of love. But can you imagine what a marriage would be like if both parties practiced lasting love? No strife, no stress, no suffering, no piled up baggage. No ruin, no divorce.
There will be two people who give up their rights every day so that they can serve one another.
If your spouse doesn’t look like the same person you married, but you’re still together, it’s patient love. It’s love to say I am keeping it now. ”
God did the same for you and me. Take a look at his constant and patient love for you:
- He promised never to leave you (Hebrews 13:5)
- He’s nice to you when you’re broken (Psalm 147:3)
- He promises nothing will happen between the two of you (Romans 8:39)
- He loved you and still loves you (Romans 5:8)
- he is always thinking about you (Psalm 139:17-18)
How can you practice love for your spouse in the same way God practices love for you?
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3. Develop new love
We are not like God who never gets tired or hurt, so we must know how to renew our love for our spouses. You can’t just wait for your feelings to be there.
I am so glad that God’s love for us is not based on His feelings! decision Love us regardless. He calls us to love each other (and our spouses) that way, too.
Because the world takes it away from us. Pain takes it away from us. Everyday life takes it away from us. But thank God. God can replenish it for us.
of Isaiah 40:28-31We have this encouragement from God that can fill you with love for your spouse:
“Don’t you know?
Haven’t you heard?
the Lord is the everlasting God,
Creator of the ends of the earth.
he is neither tired nor weary,
And his understanding is incomprehensible to anyone.
he gives strength to the weary
Empower the weak.
Even the young are weary,
And the young man stumbles and falls.
But those who wait on the Lord
renew their power.
They soar with their wings like eagles.
They run and don’t get tired.
They walk and never faint. ”
If your love for your spouse is waning, how do you renew it? When something in your spouse or in this life takes it away from you, how can you restore that joy to each other? do you
By waiting on the power of the Lord to enable you to love your spouse, and by returning to what brought you together in the first place. Was it your spouse’s smile, sense of humor, honesty, charm and wit, or love for God?
Ask God to help you focus on what you have seen before, and trust Him to open your eyes and see again.
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