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4 Biblical Purposes of Premarital Counseling

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God had one thing in mind when he created marriage. To create a human union that reflects how he loves the church (his people). He designed beautiful relationships to reflect perfect love. We want to be married to a biblical and godly foundation.

He hopes that this relationship will be fostered by encouraging each spouse to put the other first and achieve their goals for the Lord.

As human beings, we cannot love completely. We need all the help we can get. That’s why attending premarital counseling can energize your future marriage. There are many things to think about before getting married.

Related: 6 things to discuss before saying I DO!

We need to dig deep into our fiancée’s life and get to the bottom of important issues. One of the most beneficial things you can do as you prepare to walk down the aisle is get premarital counseling.

So what is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling is a form of counseling or therapy that helps couples get to a healthy place before I say. They have the opportunity to discuss important topics and align expectations. Hire a professional counselor who specializes in premarital sex, or a pastor will likely offer services before officiating at the wedding. Christian counseling or meeting with a pastor is most beneficial because it allows you to incorporate your faith and relationship with God into the process and learn how to put God at the center of your marriage. Helps maintain relationships when

God empowers us with the truth of His Word to guide and direct us on marriage. He gave us some basic and solid truths that we can stand firm on when we get married. provides a way.

Four Biblical Purposes of Premarital Counseling

1. Understanding the Promise of Marriage

If a man swears an oath to the Lord or swears to bind himself by a covenant, he shall not break the promise. Numbers 30:2

In our modern world, too many people get married without fully understanding their lifelong commitment. The focus is on. Preparing for a wedding can be all-consuming and leaves little room for preparing what life will be like after the celebration is over. , tells a lot. Spending time with a counselor who really understands your commitments will help you put your head in the right space so you don’t come under attack when the honeymoon is over. We want to truly understand what we are doing as much as possible so that when conflicts and problems arise, we can have the commitment necessary to endure the hardships of our marriage.

2. Improve communication and conflict resolution skills

Woman and man couple sitting and talking with serious expressions, how to respond to spouse's question

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

A hot-tempered person causes strife, but a patient person quells a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18

Everyone comes from different homes, different families, different ways of communicating. Each person is often modeled in different ways to navigate her growing communication skills. Understanding these aspects of your childhood can be very beneficial before you walk down the aisle. It’s impossible to know everything, but talk about how you want to communicate and how your future spouse will be. Knowing how you express your feelings and thoughts can only help your marriage. A counselor can help you understand yourself and your future spouse.

Conflict is inevitable in a marriage. You will oppose and fight. This is normal and healthy. You want a marriage that provides a safe space to express your feelings and problems openly. . This does not mean that you will always be in and out of conflict in your marriage. However, entering a marriage with a full understanding of how each of you will resolve or avoid conflicts can give you a head start on the marriage relationship.

3. Set realistic expectations

For God alone, my soul, be silent and wait, my hope is from him. Psalm 62:5

The world is telling us that marriage is made to make us happy and bring us all the fulfillment we need. God wants us to find joy in our marriage and our spouse, but that is why we cannot get married. Too many marriages fail, often because “he/she didn’t make me happy.” That’s a very high expectation to place on others, and no one person, especially a spouse, should be held responsible for it. Even in your best days, it’s impossible to be perfect, and you’re likely to disappoint your spouse at some point in your marriage. It’s even a playing field when it comes to seeking premarital counseling and discussing marriage expectations, so you can avoid being shocked when you discover your person isn’t perfect. They make mistakes and even make us unhappy. Once you have a good perspective for working through disappointments, you won’t be tempted to take the world’s advice and walk away when things get tough. Learn how to give.

4. Opportunity to clarify things

Couple Submission in Marriage

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Sam Edwards

Instead of participating in fruitless dark works, expose them. Because even talking about what they do in secret is a disgrace. Ephesians 5:11-12

No one likes talking about their past relationship with their future spouse. It can be uncomfortable and embarrassing. However, uncovering your past in the safe haven of premarital counseling can unlock the mystery about your person’s past. By revealing who you are in a relationship with, one by one, you get to know each other better and have the opportunity to clean the air. Praying to be freed from soul ties with others gives you a clean slate when you enter a marriage. You can go into marriage knowing you know everything and don’t have to ask questions later. In the future, even if someone from the past is raised or happens to meet, it won’t let you down or make you feel like you had a secret. You can have complete confidence that nothing is hidden about your past.

Use this time to uncover addictions and hidden sins that need to be addressed. This can be a vulnerable place, but it’s a good idea to expose it before you get married so you can work through any issues your spouse is having.

A secret sin kills a marriage. It gives enemies a foothold in your marriage, creating distance, resentment, and unhealthy conflict. Engaging in premarital counseling to discuss these thorny issues can help you uncover past sins and expose them so they don’t affect your marriage before it even begins. .

Be supportive of your future marriage and start premarital counseling. It is possible to have a healthy, life-giving, and godly marriage even in the midst of life’s greatest challenges. And if you start on the right foot, you have the chance to have a beautiful and fulfilling marriage.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund

Heidi Beg Writer, speaker, and ministry leader based in Gig Harbor, Washington. She is the remarried mother of her four children, and she is navigating her chaotic family life after losing her first husband to cancer in 2013. She aspires to use her writing as a way to encourage others who have experienced loss and guide them on their path to healing. She contributes to her blog at: thebreathingmama.com, shares stories and prayers of faith that stem from her loss and healing, motherhood, and her blended and complicated family. She graduated from Southern New Hampshire University with degrees in Creative Writing and English. is currently writing his first book. Heidi is the director of her women’s ministry at Gig Harbor Foursquare and has a deep heart for sharing Jesus with women and encouraging them in their walk of faith. When she’s not writing, she loves traveling, reading, crafting, and experimenting in the kitchen.visit her Facebook and Instagram (@mrsheidivegh) can learn more.

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