When it comes to marriage, unhappiness is a common problem. What they don’t talk about when they buy a great wedding dress, exchange heartfelt vows, and drive into the sunset together is that the relationship often feels more like work than play. Emotions may run high, misunderstandings may create rifts, and forgiveness may be needed. Unhappiness is not unique to married life. Let’s be honest, given the lifelong loyal love of one exceptionally flawed human being, you should expect to get through some tough seasons.
Our culture teaches that happiness is the path to a good life, so it’s important to recognize this big elephant in your room. Reality teaches us that life is full of challenges and that almost everything in life is worth fighting for. Consider getting an education. Learning to read, write, add, spell, subtract, etc. is difficult, but even if children struggle to master these skills and are not happy, they should continue to do so until they have acquired some skill. We parents can agree that proficient What about parenting? If we quit this job as parents when our children make us unhappy, sin against us, and become nervous, none of us will ever get past this terrifying two-step process. The Lord knows you can’t. We stand by our children, love them and grow with them. Because they know it’s worth the effort.
But somehow we think of marriage in isolation from other clear depictions of how struggle brings beauty to us. ’90s romantic comedies brainwashed us all into believing that we all have the perfect soulmate waiting for us that we can’t live without. They complete us and with them by our side our life is forever fun and easy.
This is a lie. It is from the enemy of our soul. Falling in love is sweet, but staying in love is work. stay. Tolerant. learn. Growing. fight for your family These things are incredibly difficult, but we refuse to let our happiness tell us what our future should be, and instead surrender our lives to our Creator, giving us joy and healing. That’s when beauty is revealed when we ask to show us the way forward. in our story.
I know this first hand because I wanted to keep out of the marriage because of my unhappiness with my spouse. I was hoping he would stay away from me. I justified my deep resentment and cast a lot of the blame on the man I said I would love forever. Even now, having witnessed the error of my ways, I still have to work every day to choose radical grace and forgiveness instead of holding on to the scars that make me want to separate myself from my spouse. Letting go is always a choice because you can’t rewrite 15 years of misunderstandings. You can’t undo it, but you can get over it. I believe that God is showing us a new way forward filled with joyful devotion to each other beyond our temporary feelings.
So what should we do when faced with such an unfortunate season?
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