Have you ever listened to a problem shared by a family member or friend and immediately started giving you ideas on what to do to remedy the situation? please”, “buy this course”, “exercise more”, “drink more water” and so on. The person listening to you acknowledges your suggestions, stops talking, and never accepts your advice. Your suggestions may be useful, but they are insufficient.
When you hear about someone else’s difficult situation, why not share your own experience. Hope it helps, you quickly told your story about the current struggle. The story may have merit, but it puts the focus on you and away from the sharer who just listened and needed encouragement.
Your desire to help and support those you care about is rooted in love, compassion, and empathy. It’s hard to see friends and family go through hardships. However, it is important to understand the limitations of your role in dealing with other people’s problems and struggles. Active listening, introspection, respect for personal journeys, and a focus on relying on God’s wisdom and sovereignty can help us navigate these situations successfully.
Your humanity cannot solve other people’s problems and conflicts. Here’s why.
1. Listening should be the first reaction
Your desire to help may be so strong that you go into fix mode before you hear it all. There is immense power in listening carefully. Sometimes all someone needs is a listening ear and an empathetic heart.
By refraining from imposing your own ideas and stories, you can create a safe space where others feel heard and valued. This involves listening deeply to truly hear, rather than just superficially listening and responding. This is a rare gift for your partner.
Proverbs 18:13 It reminds us that speaking before really listening is unwise and leads to shame. Instead, practice listening fast and speaking slowly, recognizing that sometimes the best thing we can offer is focused attention and encouragement.
Your intentions may be genuine, but it’s important to realize that you can’t solve other people’s problems or conflicts. We must assume that we know what is best for others and avoid being seen as judgmental or condescending.
Instead of trying to fix others, you can humbly acknowledge that you have areas to grow and challenges to overcome. Matthew 7:3 I warn you to focus on the speck in your brother’s eye while ignoring the plate in your own eye.
You can turn your focus inward. By cultivating self-awareness and striving for personal growth, you will become a living example of the change you want to see in others.
3. Things are complicated
Each individual and their problems are complex, and there is rarely a simple one-size-fits-all solution. It’s important to realize that we may not have all the information necessary to provide a comprehensive solution.
Only the person handling the situation knows all the details of the situation at hand. Therefore, they are the best people to find solutions.
By being curious and asking thoughtful questions instead of offering easy solutions, friends and family can explore different possibilities to find a solution. This will allow them to find their way with divine guidance.
Being curious and asking questions creates an environment of trust and collaboration that allows for deeper exploration and growth.
4. We must respect the personal development of others
God created each of us with free will and the ability to make our own choices. Everyone is on their own journey of personal growth and transformation. We may be tempted to carry the burdens of others, but we must respect their path and give them the opportunity to learn, make mistakes, grow and mature.
Galatians 6:5 It reminds us that each person must carry his own burden. Instead of trying to fix someone, you can offer support through prayer and heartfelt empathy. Trusting in God’s sovereignty allows us to let go of the desire to control the situation and allow God’s perfect plan to unfold.
5. We Must Respect God’s Sovereignty
You must remember that you are not God. God has a purpose and plan for everything that happens in your life and the lives of others. When we feel compelled to intervene, we can trust that God will work in ways beyond our comprehension, and we can turn the person and the situation over to Him.
His plans are always good, even if they are invisible now. Think about how much you care about the person you want to save from suffering. Remember that God loves them more than you. This always helps me when one of my adult children has a problem and I start to go into mom’s solution mode.
As humans, we have our limits. We cannot change other people or circumstances. Only God can bring about lasting change in any person or situation.
Exodus 14:14 He reassures you, “The Lord will fight for you. The Lord will fight for you.” Just keep still. ” You can rest on this promise and let God remain God.
It is in those moments of surrender that a deep sense of peace and faith can be experienced. By acknowledging your limitations and putting your trust in God, you bring His wisdom and power into the lives of those you care about.
Recognizing and respecting the limitations of our role in helping others is essential in our Christian walk.
What if you didn’t try to solve other people’s problems right away? What if you asked a few questions instead of offering a quick fix? What would happen if we listened intently when we were
Jacob 1:19 It teaches us to listen quickly and speak slowly.
What can you do instead of trying to resolve the person or situation?
You cannot fix another person, but you can support and encourage them through prayer and listening. Learning to listen carefully creates a safe space where others can share their hearts and find solace in being heard.
Giving encouragement and understanding fosters deeper connections with others and allows us to visibly demonstrate the love of Christ. Our role is to point others to God and His transformative power. Trusting in God’s sovereignty and understanding that change and growth are ultimately in God’s hands can bring comfort in difficult situations.
At the end of the day, each person is responsible for their own actions, and until they are held accountable for what they need to do to move forward, nothing they say or do will affect how their lives change and grow. is not.
Position yourself as a mother, spouse, friend, or family member who wants to understand the suffering a family member or friend is going through. Learn how to explore your feelings, process them verbally, and ask the right, clear questions that help you formulate next steps for the situation you’re facing.
This is the greatest gift you can give to others. It’s about listening to their stories and going through difficult times together. May you be known as someone who listens with compassion, trusts in God’s plan, and provides unwavering support.
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Lenny Bethelauthor of Find Me: A Woman’s Guide to Learning More About Myself is professional christian life coach and Gospel-focused Certified Enneagram Coach. She explores what is possible for a Christian woman to have her purpose later in her life, helping her live in alignment with her identity in Christ and her personality. Renee wants to connect with you Instagram.