Making friends can be very difficult for introverts. I’m an introvert, so I understand how difficult it can be to expose yourself in front of new people. If you’re young and go to the same school as many other kids, it might be easy. But the older you get and the more isolated your daily life becomes, the more difficult it can become.
If you’re having trouble making friends, this is the right place. Here are his five ways for introverts to make friends.
1. find common interests
One way introverts make friends is by finding common interests with others. No friendship can be formed between two people unless they have common interests. As introverts, we often struggle to keep a conversation going. Therefore, it will be much easier to talk to others if you can talk about things that interest you. Introverts usually don’t like small talk. Therefore, it is important for introverts to be able to connect with others on a deeper level.
If you want to make new friends, feel free to talk to other people and discover their interests. Friendships are much easier to build when you have common interests with each other. By having common interests, you will have a lot to talk about and you will never run out of things to share with each other. Introverts try to avoid awkwardness, so it’s helpful to focus the conversation on things that introverts are familiar with or feel comfortable with.
2. Get a pet to introduce new people
A second way for introverts to make friends is to get a pet to introduce them to new people. As a disclaimer, not all pets are helpful in making friends, be it fish or cats. However, if you have a dog, many people are more comfortable waving to a stranger than starting a conversation, so it can help you make friends. As a fellow introvert, I know that having a dog barrier when communicating with others can be very reassuring.
Having a dog makes it easier for me to leave the conversation when I need to by simply saying, “I want to bring the dog home.” This will make it easier for you to leave when you’re feeling down without being rude. It also helps that you feel more comfortable talking to others with your dog by your side, and that your dog is a gateway to open conversations with others. Dogs can help keep you calm and grounded if you get strayed in the middle of a conversation with another person.
My dog passed away many years ago, but I found it easier to talk to other people when I was walking my dog. I’m an introvert and shy, so I don’t initiate direct conversations with others. But if other people are walking their dogs and strike up a conversation, I feel more comfortable talking to them. Other people had dogs and were kind enough to talk to me. This may come in handy when looking for new friends.
3. Join a book club
A third way for introverts to make friends is to join a book club. I personally love books, so I find it easy to empathize with the characters in the stories. You may also enjoy reading and connecting with characters. In a way, it feels like the characters in the story have become your friends. You can use this in a positive way by talking about the characters you read or resonate with within your book club community. Starting a new group, such as a book club, can be difficult, but joining an existing club can help you find new friendships.
There are many book clubs you can join, both online and in person. If you choose an online book club, it can be difficult to maintain a good connection. But it may be the perfect friendship for you. If you do decide to go in person, don’t let uneasy thoughts swallow you up. Pray that God will help you in this area. God will help you. When you actually go there, you get a better sense of what the room is like and you’ll be better able to read other people’s opinions.
Choose to sit next to you or talk to someone who seems friendly. In a book club, everyone reads the same book, so you can discuss deeper topics in that book and hear each other’s thoughts and opinions about the book. Plus, book clubs often offer guided questions and conversations, so there’s no pressure to start or keep the conversation going. This is a great place to hear other people’s perspectives and see how you relate to their opinions. Through a book club, you can make new friendships and connect with others on a creative level.
A fourth way introverts can make friends is by volunteering. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and build friendships. I myself have volunteered many times in my life, and each time I have made friends. Talking to people can be intimidating, but volunteering makes it less scary because multiple people are working towards the same goal. Understanding each other’s passions is a quiet but powerful form of communication in itself.
Consider volunteering at the library and making friends with other staff and volunteers. You can discuss topics such as books, movies, or anything else you would normally borrow from the library. Alternatively, you can contact your local pregnancy crisis center, animal shelter, or children’s community center to see if you need help. This is the ideal way to find friends (furry friends included) who like to invest in their community.
Volunteering is usually a longer-term commitment, giving you plenty of time to build strong friendships. Even if you volunteer in a place that isn’t particularly fun, other people there may make the experience even better. Never underestimate how volunteering can help bring people together and build friendships.
5. Talk to your neighbors
A fifth way introverts make friends is by talking to their neighbors. Whether you live in a house or an apartment, talking to your neighbors is a great way to make friends. My family and I are mostly introverts. However, we found it easy to make friends because we met with our neighbors on a regular basis. Making friends with your neighbors is also unique. You will make friends with people of different ages and backgrounds, but you will have a common culdesac community.
One of my neighbors became my friend after we talked about birds and how to enjoy bird watching. I first started talking to this neighbor over ten years ago and she still talks every time we see her. Likewise, you too can make friends with the people around you. Being an introvert can pose unique challenges. However, your ability to make friends doesn’t have to be compromised.
Many people believe that introverts don’t like talking to people, but this isn’t always true. Introverts want to talk to people, but they need to be comfortable talking to you first. Introverts can actually make great friends and are often great listeners. If you’re an introvert, trust the process and know that you can build lasting friendships, even if it takes time. On the other hand, if you are an extrovert, try to be kind to introverts and develop friendships. Often the best friendships are between introverts and extroverts.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/nicoletaionescu
Vivian Bricker Help those who love Jesus, study God’s Word, and walk with Christ. She earned her Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts degrees in Christian Missions with an emphasis on theological studies. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading and spending time outside. When she’s not writing, she’s off on another adventure.