During the pandemic, I moved from New York to my hometown of Vancouver, Canada. I was hoping to reconnect with my community of old friends once the restrictions were lifted. I was the one who coordinated the dinner, hosted people in the house, and started planning.
shrug your shoulders for a while
Oh they are busy. They have kids, so it’s too hard for them to start.or <ここに言い訳を挿入>.
However, I found that even though they didn’t show up in the relationship, I maintained the friendship because of history. I have learned that history alone is not enough to have someone in my life now and in the future.
Our relationship needs nurturing.
I stopped overperforming in these friendships. I paused before impulsively trying too hard to bring the plan to life. I told some friends how I felt and what I wanted. A few reinforced it and our friendship has grown since then. .
What I have learned is the key to relationships. reciprocity.
Reciprocity means that there is a mutual relationship between two people. That is, the balance of energy and exchange. Without it, you are in a one-sided relationship with someone who is not related to you.
Create an inventory of one-sided relationships.
If you’re the only one investing, take a step back. Stop doing 3 steps to make up for the lack of steps. Tell people what you want and give people a chance to step up. If they don’t want it, we have your data.
If you notice that you’re not making an effort with your loved one, take action to nurture the connection. Make plans, send flowers, tell them how much you care…do anything, do anything and wait passively for people to happen to you.
there’s no such thing as not enough time. There are only things you prioritize that are important enough for your time.
Invest wisely. love me completely
