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How to Find Biblical Joy When You Think You’ve Failed As a Parent

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“The mother is the Holy Grail, the vessel without which no human being is born. What a solemn responsibility. What an indescribable privilege. .” Elizabeth Elliott

I don’t think I have ever put so much of myself into raising and raising my children. I read everything that could help me to be a better mother. I went out of my way to be there for them. I worked hard to tune in, encourage them, share the gospel, tell them how much I love them, and connect with them in any way I could. When I sinned against them, I immediately asked for forgiveness and tried to keep lines of communication open so that they could consult me ​​whenever they needed it. . For over 18 years, I woke up every day with the goal of being the best mother I could be.

My kids are grown, married just a year apart, and we’re entering a new season. It took me some time to adjust and find a new rhythm, but I did. We worked hard as our children grew up and thought we would have a good relationship now that they are adults. I moved on and thought I was doing a decent job as a mother of adult children and as a mother-in-law, but continued to focus on them in new ways. After all, I read every book and studied what to do and what not to do.

As the months went by, one thing led to another, and I was able to have honest, heartfelt conversations with my children. Each of them spoke candidly about their childhood and about the negative influence their father and I had on them. They wanted to discuss these things so they could work through them and we could work on something together. it was necessary. It was good and healthy. Yes, I was grateful they told us about these things, but sad at the same time. why? Because I felt like I had failed.

I failed as a mother.

Poems to Help When You Feel Failed as a Parent

Colossians 2:13–14 “When you were dead in your sins…God made you alive with Christ. He has canceled the responsibility for the debt, God took it away and pierced the nail.” On the cross. “

No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to be a perfect parent. We all sin against our children in one way or another. We continue to grow and mature as we nurture them. And they will see our weaknesses and our sins. We can take comfort in the fact that God has forgiven us of our sins, and humbly ask our children’s forgiveness for what we have let them down.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ As you dwell, I will gladly boast of my weaknesses more and more.”

We are not called to be perfect parents. We are called to brag about our weaknesses. God’s power picks up weak parents and uses them anyway. God’s grace helps us when we fail and when we are weak.

Colossians 2:13–14 “When you were dead in sin and uncircumcision of the flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He has canceled the liability of the legal debts that I have laid down, and has taken it up and nailed it to the cross.”

We are not “good enough” and will never be “good enough”. No matter how hard I tried, how much money I spent on my children, how much I read, it just wasn’t enough. I didn’t have enough. But Christ alone is enough. He gives me a new start every day and continues to help me grow until the day I meet him. Jesus is the one who gives me strength and enables me to ask my children for forgiveness. He’s the one who picks me up when I see all the ways I’ve been failing and who strengthens me as I continue this parenting journey with my adult children. I’m never good enough he’s always good enough

There is something good about thinking that you have failed as a parent

  • We have the opportunity to humbly admit to our children that we are weak humans in the process of growing and learning, and to ask forgiveness for what we have done wrong.
  • If anything good happens in our lives, in the lives of our children, in our families, it is because God is in us and uses us in spite of our weakness. We are reminded again that He is a man doing a good job.
  • We have another reason to lean on God and receive His comfort and encouragement. He knew we couldn’t be perfect parents and was there to help us when we failed.

Find the Joy of the Bible by Focusing on God

Thank God for what he is:

Father, thank you for being Yahweh, the Lord who heals. Pour out your grace on my children so that they can handle what they need to handle. So whoever their parents were, they can be healed and used powerfully for your purposes!

Thank the Lord for His Faithfulness:

Father, you are faithful. Thank you for honestly exposing my failures and reminding me that I am never good enough. Thank you very much! Thank you for using me in your children’s lives.

Thank you Lord for your promises.

Father, thank you for choosing me to have the privilege of nurturing two gifts from you, my children, and the promise that your strength will give me strength where I am weak. increase. Thank you for promising to make amends for my failure.thank you for letting me “It is a vessel that God has prepared for you to use.”

Thank the Lord for the provision:

I am grateful for the wisdom you have given me over the years as I raised my children and all the ways you have provided them as they grow. So that they can see clearly how you have worked in their lives over the years and how you have served them in every season of their life in a unique way. Help me.

If you want to learn more about how to choose the joy of the Bible, read my book “daily prayer for joy”!

For weekly encouragement on how to choose the joy of Scripture in every situation, visitChoose Bible Joy Now

This article is part of a series on Biblical Joy by Gina Smith. Here are her other articles:

How to Find Biblical Joy When You’ve Been Mistreated

How to Find Biblical Joy When Battling Depression

Finding Biblical Joy in Loneliness

How to Find Biblical Joy When Life Goes Wrong

Premium PDF Compilation – Finding Biblical Joy in the Midst of Trials

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Dean Mitchell

Gina Smith Writer and author. She has been married to Brian, a college professor and athletic trainer, for 34 years. For more than 25 years of her life, she and her husband have served as guardians on the campus of Christian University, where Brian has served as professor and dean of students. They live in the Washington DC suburbs and are parents of two grown children, a daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law. She recently wrote her traditionally published first book, Everyday Prayers for Joy. This book is available wherever books are sold. Gina can be found at: Website:ginalsmith.com, Instagram,,,and million playing momswhere she is a writer.

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