I have two sets of parents. Both couples were married in the Jurassic (not really). I watched each pair grow old together.
In a bittersweet end, one pair tolerated each other very little. My family were lovers until death separated them. Mom and Dad had a caregiver in their last year and confided that they wanted us to arrive late in the morning because they had time to cuddle and kiss!
My mother had mid-Alzheimer’s, but my father didn’t care. He patiently reminded her where her shoes were and never scolded her for asking the same question over and over again.
Such long lasting love!
But a long-lasting marriage can also be difficult.
My brother-in-law suffered greatly in his later years. They loved each other deeply, but they spent their days playing pachinko, nagging, getting impatient, and frustrated. cried her mother-in-law. Pops pouted. Finally, they clung to each other, lamenting years wasted in frustration.
“Precious and Papaw” were great parents, amazing grandparents, and great Christians. They just rubbed each other the wrong way. Their golden age was a little rusty.
ancient times salam wedding vows Encouragement:“For better or worse. For rich or poor. For sickness and health. As long as you two live.”
My husband and I have taught a huge number of marriage conferences around the world. We put our measure of “marriage satisfaction” as great in the honeymoon stage, good in childhood, bad in teenage years, better as children leave home, and a “golden age” in retirement. described as the best.
We were wrong!
Retirement is not always easy. Marriage can be difficult when partners stop working and spend long hours together around the house. Others are cash-strapped, suffer debilitating illnesses, lose family and friends, and fear the future.
So how do you finish the race gracefully?
God promises the power to endure, but we must learn to follow His plan and embrace it willingly.It is here Three “scriptures” for reviving romance and surviving trials:
1. Accept each other as Christ accepted you. (Romans 15:7)
A busy family life can mask the flaws that exist in a marriage. Tubes of toothpaste, loud chewing, and leaving laundry on the floor become battlefields. Let’s face it. I mentioned petty irritation. However, there is a more crucial difference.
When one spouse is worried and the other carefree, we reject each other. We fight when one partner is disciplined and the other procrastinates. Jesus accepted everyone, even tax collectors and prostitutes.
Acceptance means loving someone, affirming them, and appreciating them whether they change or not.
2. Carry each other’s burdens and fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
Burdens come in all shapes and sizes. They are mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. Some are small backpacks. Some are rocks. Farmers are yoking cattle to get the job done. That is what Solomon observed.
Two are better than one…Even if one falls, one can help the other…Even if one is overwhelmed, two must defend themselves I can. A 3-strand cord will not break quickly. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“Two are better than one…” is Solomon’s way of describing the power of support and protection that marriage provides. The triple string represents the amazing bond between God and her two marriage partners.
Prayer is the most important way you can bear the burden of your partner.
Christ is the ultimate “burden-bearer”. He crucified our sins and sufferings. An aging spouse’s burden may include dressing, driving, and helping with household chores.
Don’t try to go through life without help. God provides a home for family, friends and churches to come with the elderly. I have observed that these couples have a much easier time surviving if they actively develop a support system.
3. Be kind to one another, gentle in heart, and forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Be polite, courteous, courteous, not rough, rude, unfriendly. My husband always opens my door, walks outside on the sidewalk and pulls out my chair. He is as chivalrous as Sir Walter Raleigh.
Insensitive and unselfish, thoughtful and helpful. Be understanding and compassionate, not insensitive or indifferent.
Patient and tolerant, not nervous or irritable. Be open-minded, not grudging. Forgive instead of being vengeful.
Not harsh, not harsh, gentle. It takes energy and effort to be kind.
Only Christ can achieve such sweetness in us. Many husbands and wives don’t want to go overboard. I’m tired. But when your loved one is gone, you miss the inconvenience.The extra time is filled with loss and regret. love me as much as you can Every moment is precious!
Dr. Julie Barrier, with her pastor husband, Dr. Roger Barrier, has taught conferences on marriage and ministry in 35 countries. The Barriers preach and teach We provide free resources in 10 languages to 5 million visitors in 229 countries. The Barriers has been a pastor at Casas Church in Arizona for 35 years and Julie has been a worship pastor, concert artist and adjunct professor at Golden Gate. Baptist Seminary. She has written or composed over 500 published works.
Photo credit: ©Unsplash / Joe Hepburn