We’ve all heard of Gary Chapman’s books. 5 love languagesIn fact, most of us know which love language speaks best to us and means more to our spouse. A gal with a physical touch who won’t believe a marital quarrel is over until you give her a thumbs up.Josh responds best to Words of Affirmation. He won’t believe it until he hears, “I’m so proud of you.”
Understanding these details helped us avoid a lot of arguments, or at least speed up reconciliation. Any additional means to do so is invaluable.
what about you? what about your spouse?Not sure 5 Love Language Quiz, take a few minutes to answer the questions and understand how you receive love. Share the test with your spouse.
Whether you’re like Josh or me, or have discovered that your love language is gift-receiving, acts of service, or quality time, I have a simple but impactful message for you. Take on the Powerful Challenge: Find ways to include your spouse’s love language in your household chores.
Vacuuming and washing the dishes may not seem like they fit into the love language category, but when you take the time to maintain a tidy and comfortable home for each other, We end up cultivating our home, maintaining its foundation as we respond to our spouse’s love language in the process. In a real home, partners can feel at home, refreshed, and feel the kind of love they can’t easily find in this harsh world.
(Incorporating chores into how Josh receives love made the process less confusing and stressful, and strengthened his communication skills.)
Dive into the five love languages and decide which household chores best speak to your spouse’s love language.
words of affirmation
Let me start with Josh’s words of love, especially since it’s the one I try to be most actively involved with these days, especially while renovating an 1890s Tennessee farmhouse.
I can’t audibly speak chores, but I can do simple tasks for him and create engaging conversations where I can praise him for his hard work. For example, Josh is a pilot. He’s been on the move (or rather, up in the air) for his 4-5 days at a time, and when he gets home he’s busy fixing up the house. Instead of worrying about washing all his pilot uniforms while he balances all the plumbing and carpentry in the house, I always wash his uniforms, dry them, fold them up and hang them up so they’re ready for the next flight. will do so.
When you’re done, let him know your uniform is ready to put in his suitcase, but at the same time, say, “Thank you for all the hard work you’ve done for your family. Your hard work will be seen at home and on the go.” And thank you.”
His job doing laundry is hearing what makes me proud of him, flying planes, building bookshelves, hanging wallpaper, and fixing rickety, leaky faucets. It’s the physical work that sets the stage for audible conversations that are recognizable for the countless hours he’s spent on. farmer.
Which of your household chores creates the most room to encourage conversation?
ok let’s jump to mine! I get the most love from physical contact.I don’t like Josh being in charge of my household chores (because I believe my method is the most effective), but I’ve found that Josh does the chores the most. I love taking the time to do it.
Now, this might sound a bit like quality time, and in a way it is, but here’s where it’s different for us Physical Touch folks. For Josh and me, it’s a lot like working outdoors. We grow vegetables, fruits and flowers on our small farm in Tennessee. I love that Josh and I can get our hands dirty while helping each other’s plants. There is a lot of hand-to-hand contact while planting soil or tapping seeds into the ground.
It’s also fun for Josh to fill the bird feeder with me. We have to help each other to take down the hive, sow the seeds and hang it up again. A simple “let me help you” when Josh puts my hand down means more than all the chocolates and roses he could have delivered to your doorstep.
receiving a gift
“Shouldn’t the gift be the fact that I did the chores for you?” My ironic answer, but here’s the catch: People who accept love by receiving gifts You are not ungrateful for the chores you do, nor do you demand expensive gifts. It serves as a mental and emotional reminder that you think you have enough.
But what does it look like in everyday life? Take the time to clean up your husband’s nightstand by organizing your books and chargers, dusting every corner, and placing your favorite candy bars and drinks on the nightstand coasters.
It takes five minutes to dust the nightstand, stack the books, and wrap the charger, so you can go the extra mile and pick up your favorite snack while you watch TV or read a book so you can enjoy the evening. He’ll appreciate your efforts in decluttering his space and let him know the details, like stopping by the store to grab his favorite Coke or Reese’s Cup. You will find that it is worth sticking to.
Hubby, you may want to take some time to declutter your living room by putting away your toys, dusting your side tables, straightening your pillows, but don’t forget to fill the space with candles and a new photo of the two of you. Add. How much vacuuming or cleaning you can ever do.
This seems like a no-brainer, right? Doing housework for your spouse is an act of service, Selfless Acts of service are taking on that one chore you both hate for quite some time.
Josh and I are expecting our first child soon, but with this wonderful pregnancy, I’ve run into an intense food aversion. I get sick of it. Josh hates washing the dishes, but for four months he’s been responsible for it without complaining. He doesn’t have to ask or beg. He hates washing dishes as much as I do, but he knows how hard washing dishes has been for me since pregnancy, so he volunteers to do the chores.
what about your spouse? What are the chores they can’t stand? Josh is a master at taking out the trash, but he never wants to go through the nitty-gritty of replacing old trash bags with new ones. So I always come behind him and handle that little part of his job. Your husband may know it’s time to clean out the garage, but it’s an overwhelming feat. You can spend half an hour each day decluttering, organizing, and cleaning her one space at a time to encourage him to get the job done.
If you and your spouse are forced to clean out hallway closets or sanitize your child’s bedroom after stomach bugs, expressing quality time love words is not real. It may look like EuBut quality time doesn’t have to be defined by the strict parameters of being in the same room with each other.
When things get nasty and uncomfortable, create a playlist that you and your spouse can listen to while sanitizing doorknobs or washing nasty bedsheets. Include songs that you love, songs you two danced to at a wedding, and so on. When things get chaotic and disorganized, trying on all the old, goofy, or mismatched clothes, hats, and accessories lurking in your hallway closet makes quality time feel like hosting a fake beauty pageant. You know what makes your spouse laugh, so give it a try!
Many household chores require both husband and wife, forcing them to spend time with each other. It is found in thoughtful moments that prioritize mental, emotional, and physical needs.
For quality time, it’s all in the seemingly insignificant little details.
In the next few days, think about how you can use mundane household chores to show your spouse that you care about a clean home. the most important, A happy, healthy home where everyone feels seen and loved.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Nattakorn Maneerat
Peyton Garland An author and coffee shop hopper who loves helping others find beauty in the ashes despite obsessive-compulsive disorder, burnt bridges and perfectionism. follow her on her instagram @peytonmgarland Check out her latest book, Tired, hungry, a little loyal, where tiredness and banishment meet Goddiscover how the cup overflows even in the dry season.