“The truth is that our best moments are most likely to occur when we feel extremely uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. Because such moments Only then, it is likely that our discomfort will drive us out of the rut and start looking for other ways and more truthful answers.” ~M. Scott Peck
Have you ever been in a situation or stage in your life where you felt physically stuck, as if you were stuck in invisible quicksand and couldn’t get out?
Or maybe there’s a thick, invisible rubber band wrapped around your waist that feels like it’s pulling and holding you in place, no matter how hard you try to push yourself forward. Or is it like a towering brick wall that you can’t find a way through, around, or climb over?
When life gets stuck, you can feel frustrated, frustrated, upset, and confused. And you may have been stuck for too long, panicked when you really needed to move forward, or feared your life would fall apart if you didn’t take action. yeah. It means you may become financially destitute, homeless, lonely, or fail.
Where you get stuck is the limit to your growth
We all get stuck sometimes. It tends to happen when you arrive at a gateway to a new direction, when you need to take risks, do something new, leave something behind and venture into the unknown.
I have been stuck many times in my life and have had to make major changes in my life, sometimes for a short period of time and sometimes for a long period of time, which have involved making choices, difficult decisions, and learning something deeply. I had to accept that. powerfully.
This place where you are stuck is your growing edge. It is the line between the known and the unknown, and it shows who you are and who you are becoming.
In some cases, you may have no idea why you’re stuck and just can’t move forward. That’s where you can consciously or unconsciously try to escape by avoiding a dead end or trying to push your limits and get out of your discomfort too quickly.
Sometimes we get stuck for unnecessarily long because we hit a limit and keep avoiding it, or we keep applying strategies to break the deadlock without addressing the true cause.
We tend to think of deadlocks as problems to be solved, but in my experience they often hold insight, gifts, reclaiming power, and healing grace. It can even help your life unfold by keeping you aligned with your destiny and soul mission (or a larger purpose if you don’t believe in those).
Why Traditional Advice Didn’t Help You Get Out of a Stall
Much has been written about how to get out of a deadlock, but I’ve found that much of the advice is based on unnamed assumptions about why you’re stuck.
It is generally thought to be a matter of mindset, so much advice is based on changing one’s thoughts and conscious beliefs, developing different attitudes and positive thinking, or using willpower. It’s about finding the next step to keep moving forward.
If following this kind of advice fails to clear the dead end, you may feel that something is wrong with you. But I want to tell you lovingly that nothing is wrong with you. The problem lies in solutions that don’t address the root of the impasse.
my experience stuck
My most recent bout of deadlock has been pretty painful and at times frightening in my life. After spending days writing a ton of business content, I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted, empty, and sad. And I couldn’t write again for weeks.
If I was writing as a hobby, I could have completely surrendered and waited for the word to come back, but as a self-employed business owner, writing is a large part of my job. occupies. I write her website, blog and marketing content all my own. I was very scared because my business would be in danger if I couldn’t write.
At first, it’s all about surrender, acceptance, moving your body, doing something fun, positive self-talk and encouragement, believing in yourself, and looking for the next small step. I tried all. These were helpful, especially in terms of reducing stress, but they didn’t help break the deadlock as I was still blocked when I got back to writing.
The Real Reason I’m Stuck and How to Find It
When the usual things didn’t help me clear my deadlock, I sat reading my journal and started asking questions about my experiences and what was going on within me in a loving and gentle way. .
First, place one hand on your heart and the other on your stomach and take slow, deep belly breaths. This is a polyvagal breathing technique that brings the nervous system into a state of relaxation and creates a sense of safety.
Then I sat down with the experience of being stuck and the uncomfortable feelings that arose and realized what was going on inside me. I had an on-and-off dialogue with my body and soul for days.
Here’s what I discovered as to why I’m stuck.
1. I was too steeped in masculine energy in my linear, direct, factual approach to writing.
I saw it as a problem to be solved, a task to be completed. I cared about writing well and my readers, but I was disconnected from my own inner voice that contained the poetry, beauty and wisdom of what I really wanted to say. I call this the voice of the soul. Essentially, I was trying to write with my head, not my heart.
2. I was trying to write what others wanted to know and read in the way I thought I should, but that was not what my soul wanted to express through me. I did not.
Rather than just writing as myself, I believed that I had to write in a certain way in order to connect with people and be liked. I was trying to please people and this is an old trauma reaction.
3. Different parts of me had conflicts that needed to be listened to and resolved.
A sensitive part of me didn’t like my overly hands-on approach to writing and actively opposed the “let’s get started” part of trying to end it. Think of it like your heart is opposing and pushing your head back, saying, “I can’t keep going like this.”
4. Less obviously, there was an inner critic who redirected me to write from the top of my head.
The voice was quiet and melted into my thoughts. It was trying to stop me from writing as my true self in order to protect me from the risk of criticism that my childhood innocence, my old trauma, would find destructive.
Recognizing why you are stuck and accepting all the insights can help you listen to your deeper self by easing your anxiety and listening to what your heart and soul want to express. I was able to find a way to lean back and get back to writing.
I shared small pieces of writing on social media because I wanted to share, not because I thought I should or wanted to please anyone else. This stream eventually found its way into a larger river. My writer’s block is over. My impasse was cleared.
Hidden Reasons You’re Stuck
The reason you’re stuck isn’t necessarily the result of your mindset, attitude, willpower, or just your beliefs. The reason you are stuck is deeper than that.
They are often hidden, inconspicuous, or inconspicuous because they hang out in the unconscious that you haven’t seen or been able to see. They can intertwine and intertwine.
We get stuck in deep inner conflicts between parts of ourselves that we are unaware or unheard of, the limiting beliefs created and held by younger parts of ourselves, and Blame it on trauma that has been protectively pushed down but can surface.
When we try to ignore or avoid difficult emotions, or when our nervous system perceives it as dangerous and becomes afraid to do what we want or need to do, we get stuck, fight, A fawn reaction to run away, freeze, or even try to perform an impracticable situation.
Your conscious mind may want what it says it wants, but your unconscious part says no.
You may have an inner critical person who is spitefully accusing you, or quietly discouraging you in ways that seem helpful or loving but are not. I can’t. You may not have enough internal or external allies to help you take the steps you want to take or develop the skills you need to cultivate.
You can also get stuck if what you are trying to do is not in line with your destiny or the calling of your soul. A deadlock is a symptom of advanced intervention.
How to Find the Hidden Reasons You’re Stuck
1. Offer yourself love and compassion, along with a gentle curiosity about your impasse.
This will help your body relax and feel safe. You can’t find what you’re looking for by being tough on yourself or feeling apathetic.
2. Be friends.
Before we can get out of an impasse, we need to be willing to accompany and engage with it. Even if you try to bypass it or avoid it, you are here to learn and grow, so the lessons there will reappear at another time in your life.
It repeats the life lessons we need to learn. What you learn will help you for the rest of your life.
3. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious about your situation, try some polyvagal breathing to help your nervous system rest, digest, and feel safer.
It’s hard to articulate or understand if your body is hyperactive, stressed, or in a state of freeze or shutdown.
4. Find time to consciously face the blockage, breathe, and attune with your body if possible.
Ask questions, listen, and see what’s bubbling up and what’s going on beneath the surface. Meditation and journaling worked for me, but they don’t work for everyone. Perhaps walking, dancing, praying, or talking into your cell phone on purpose is better.
You must be kind, gentle and welcoming here. Digging for answers and clues in a particularly forceful or problem-solving way can freeze your sensitive inner world and younger parts in danger, leaving you unable to reveal anything.
5. Take your time and gain insight so you can feel at ease.
In many cases, this can be enough to break a dead end or form an insight for next steps.
You may also need work to process your emotions, deal with inner conflicts and limiting beliefs, and heal childhood and trauma. This may require therapeutic support.
6. If the above does not help, seek help from a therapist or a safe, caring, honest loved one.
We all have blind spots where we cannot see ourselves clearly. It’s human nature.
You may have painful experiences that are out of your consciousness that need healing.
Sometimes you discover the unseen and need help and a safe place to hold safely your experiences and what has arisen.