I don’t know if it’s apocryphal — by the time they finish painting the Golden Gate Bridge, they’ll have to start over. But my jeans look like this. I’m not in the process of fixing them.
“Oh shoot, I have to patch my jeans,” I say, examining my freshly laundered jeans. Her husband says with a blank expression. I’ve repaired them many times so they’re all patched. They weigh 100,000 pounds. The only pair of jeans I wear, waiting by the dryer like a child waits for a one-eyed teddy bear.
I innocently started repairing them just because they were good jeans. they were comfortable. They were the exact height of my hips: they covered my cracks when I sat, but I had them on my chest like a teenager or your grandpa. They didn’t zip. Plus they made my butt look great. Now, of course, Depression-era Prairie showing my butt like the quilt your great-aunt stitched together from the rags torn from her dress.Also, thanks to my longstanding obsession with this particular pair of pants, my butt itself is… I’d say changedBut what I should say is leave.
Ironically, I’m not allowed to wear them at the hospice where I volunteer. It reassures residents and their families if we look professional and Kemp. to people. Even if my knees are a little worn out, I’m not willing to give up. I will paint your nails even if you are more likely than most to die later this afternoon. Call it “house sitting”, but I’ll fix my jeans. It’s the perfect amount of activity. I’m not just sitting there and pressuring people with my gaze to create a meaningful experience for me. But no. I just do my own sewing. Also, since I’m not wearing jeans, it’s a good time to actually get them repaired.
You’ve probably heard of Japanese customs Kintsugi — The art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Even reading the Wikipedia entry about it makes me want to cry. Amen. It is related to another Japanese philosophy. Wabisabi, highlighting the beauty inherent in imperfection. In fact, it is related to yet another Japanese custom. Sashiko — Technology to preemptively reinforce indigo fabric with white thread. visible repair. visible repair.
What if we saw gold seams threaded through each other? What if our wounds and sorrows were lovingly patched with denim and cotton florals? If you’ve ever been, you’ll know what I mean. Have your scarred parts framed in precious metals! I’ll cherish you as you are, broken and torn apart.
These jeans of mine — they’re so pretty now. People come to the street and tell me how cool they are I love them. Because I like to look cool. But most of the time, like everyone else, I crave connection. Or maybe I just want to be seen.
Katherine Newman is a parenting memoir author waiting for birdie When devastating happinessShe has also published an entertaining grief novel. we all want the impossible, about two friends. She has written in Cup of Jo on many topics, including being an empty hive and raising teenage boys, and tours of her home have broken the internet.
PS My boyfriend weighs less than me.
(Top photo of Katherine at home Lindsey Hannah for Cup of Joe)
