Adult friendships can be very difficult at times. It would be nice to have an easy sailing friendship, but most of the time this doesn’t happen. For friendships to work, adult friendships or not, it takes effort on each side. If one person makes an effort and the other doesn’t, the friendship probably won’t last. Any type of friendship has its struggles, but adult friendships are much more difficult.
Friendships are much easier to form when we are children. Less responsibility, less baggage, less risk. During my sophomore year, I made a friendship that I thought would last forever. It continued until elementary school, but when I entered junior high school, I lost contact. Similar to this example, the same can be said for adult friendships. As we grow up, we often travel for work and move from town to town. This can make it very difficult to build lasting friendships. Friendships require spending time with each other.
Emails and phone calls are convenient, but meeting in person is the best way to build a strong bond with your friends. When we grow up, it’s easy to send happy birthday texts or “How are you?” Text, but we are so vulnerable and afraid to be open that we are unable to develop friendships. For a friendship to work, both sides must want to foster it. One friend cannot do all the work. Both friends should have an equal desire to develop a friendship. If one friend decides the friendship isn’t working, there isn’t much chance of the friendship moving forward.
In adult friendships, we often try to make ourselves friends with certain people. Sadly, when we try to force friendship on someone, they are unlikely to appreciate our strong efforts. You should try to grow up.
As someone who tried a lot in college to make everyone like me, I now know that this is an impossible goal. Hmm, that doesn’t mean they wanted to be friends in return. I had no friends for a long time, so my only focus was trying to find friends. It made me lonely, so in college, I wanted to be friends with everyone, even if they weren’t friends.
understand the boundaries
We should be friends with everyone, but that doesn’t mean having close friendships with our best friends. not necessarily a close friend of As adults, it’s best to know that not everyone wants to be our friend. It’s best to know that doesn’t actually make friends. It may take time, but God will help guide us to the friends we need.
You can choose to take matters into your own hands by manipulating others into trying to be your friend, but this is not a good thing. Instead, pray to God and ask Him to guide you to the right friend. After church, spend time talking to other adults your age. You may be in a small group, but there may be people in the same stage of life as you. Talk to them and you might find some really great friends who will always be there for you. This type of friend should be appreciated because it is difficult to find.
Adult friendships also tend to be difficult because most friend groups are already established. Going back to my college days, I entered a group of friends that I thought would be my forever friends. As it turns out, it didn’t last as long as I first thought.I was so blinded by the desire to have friends that I realized that I had little or nothing in common with the rest of the group. did not. I was the exact opposite of them, so I immediately started wondering why I would go to events with him. I felt as if
Over time I realized they weren’t really my friends so I left this group of friends. felt like an outsider. No one reached out or seemed to care while I was battling my mental health. It’s sad to discover that your “friends” aren’t your true friends, but it’s better to recognize this before it takes up your entire life.
you deserve better
You deserve friends who love you, care for you, and encourage you. You don’t deserve friends who make you feel inhuman. Sadly, adult friendships can be difficult. Ask God for guidance and ask Him to bring the right people into your life. He really knows the best and will give you the friend you need. As I struggled with adult friendships, I discovered that my best friend was my sister.
Unfortunately, I neglected my sister’s friendship for years as I focused on building friendships with my college friend group. My sister is the one who has been with me through all the seasons of my life, both sunny and dark. A true friend is like my sister. Someone who never leaves and always pulls you back to Jesus. You deserve this type of friendship too. Even if it’s not your sister, with God’s help you can find lasting friendships.
Adult friendships can be difficult, but they don’t have to be. Friendships can thrive when both parties invest time and energy into them. is. Even though it may be difficult, it’s normal for friendships to come and go.Remember that God brings the right people into your life. It’s best to wait on God instead of taking things into your own hands.
Be friends with everyone, but don’t expect them to be friends back. Realize that not everyone we invest time and energy in will react the same way. Find someone who likes you for you and do your best to be good friends with others. Stay by your side and know that God will always be your friend no matter what. he loves you
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Antonio Guillem
Vivian Bricker Help those who love Jesus, learn the Word of God, and walk with Christ. She earned her bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the Ministry of Christianity with an emphasis on theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she’s not writing, she’s embarking on other adventures.