“Tell me, what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver
Lately, I’ve been taking time to think about myself. actually I want. It’s not what I “should” be or what other people want from me.
One thing I’ve learned is that mistakes happen when you choose not to follow your inner guidance system. That’s it.
Desperate for my attention whenever it screamed and pulled at me. to the extent that it doesn’t make you happy!”), I simply override it. I ignored everything my intuition told me and instead justified in my head why doing xyz was a perfectly good idea.
Through such experiences, deliberately chosen ignore your intuition that is What bothered me… I came to a somewhat different conclusion. I simply decided I was bad at making decisions.
So I stopped trusting myself. Before I make an important decision about anything, I always have another person “verify” it. Look, in caseMy justification was that even if I ended up making a completely messed up decision it shouldn’t have felt so bad because it was backed by another human being. to avoid liability for
Well, in the short term, this kind of work has been done.
The people who provided guidance and helped me make decisions were wholesome individuals who cared about me. I think.
The problem is that while listening to others can be very helpful, it shouldn’t be used as a crutch. It’s perfectly fine if they encourage you. However, if you only rely on input from others, fear Making a “wrong decision” that requires consideration.
3 problems slowly started happening for me.
One, I started to lose my voice. I began to forget what I liked, what I liked, disliked, agreed with, and disagreed with. I told myself I honestly didn’t know.But oh i knewI was afraid to admit it to others.
Second, there were times when someone’s advice didn’t resonate with what I wanted. Wait, disagree with someone? I feel like I have completely correct opinions that are different from other human beings?? Too many.
Third, it created confusion because multiple people had multiple opinions about how they should live their lives. And each one expected me to respect their advice and guidance.
The anxiety caused by trying to do everything that everyone wants, and the shell of who I used to be, not knowing who I am or what I want. After years of dealing with deep depression when I found out, I knew. that something needs to change. I got lost and slipped down.
I started making small decisions. It was terrifying.
I want to buy this shirt. I want to eat sushi for lunch. I’d rather stay here tonight than go out.
Self-advocacy wins a little!
Then I started making bigger decisions.
i want a new job I want to stop “hustling” in my non-work time and just do what I enjoy. I would rather take abstract nature photos than unconventional family photos.
I made sure to pay close attention to how I was feeling with every small decision I made.
If your chest feels tight or you feel uneasy, pay attention to that. I think to myself “Brain, I know you may disagree with this for a variety of reasons, but my heart is telling me to avoid this decision.”
I slowly became more aware of everything my body was feeling in the moment.
Also, I started noticing something else. Maybe there really isn’t a “should”.
No matter what decision you make, there will be people who are for it and people who are completely against it. A person can make thousands of choices in a day. It’s literally impossible to guarantee that everyone will like or approve of all of these little choices. I see you guys), to the decision to dye my hair purple.
What about the bigger decisions? Choices such as taking a particular job, having or not having a family, or following a particular political party.
What if it was all about living by our values and respecting the desire of others to do the same?
What if literally everything was fine?
Take root and plant. to fly with wings.
Be financially rich and have more than you need. To have enough to live happily and comfortably.
Being tall, short, skinny, fat, lean, muscular and everything in between.
Do you live alone or live with someone? Being in a relationship or being single. Work 60 hours a week or 5 hours a week. Having a job you adore or a job that pays the bills.
Be a work in progress. Just to be sure. I’m not sure.
Still studying. still looking for. be saved. disbelieve. Be straight, gay, bi, or none of the above. to love men to love women love animals.simply Love.
What if you could have ambitions and dreams bigger than life?
What if it’s okay to have soft ambitions and dreams? Just rightwhich makes us happy and respects our abilities?
What if you had no “ambition” per se and could simply focus on building habits rather than achieving goals?
To experience satisfaction on your own terms without having to prove anything to anyone.
What if being good isn’t about trying to be everything for everyone? Rather, isn’t it about being who you want to be, being unstoppable, and more?
About Jamie Haas Powell
Jamie Haas Powell is a flexibility coach and Latin dance instructor in Northern New Jersey. She started NJHeARTs, a movement that combines art and advocacy to raise awareness of domestic violence. In her spare time, she loves playing the ukulele, dancing, going to the beach and eating tacos.you can Find more of her daily thoughts here.