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4 Steps to Take When You Need to Forgive Someone

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The final step is to say yes and forgive. As Nike says, “just do it.” However, when we forgive, we do so sincerely and completely. When you do this and free the person who hurt you, you are actually freeing yourself.

Unforgivable is a prison that you step into and are willing to lock the door behind. It traps you in the past and prevents you from living the present in complete freedom. So it hurts your future. I am not saying this out of condemnation. I’m saying this from experience as I was trapped. When I got to the point of forgiving, the unnecessary burden I was carrying was lifted and I wondered why I had waited so long.

How do you know you have forgiven someone?

To wrap this up, I have one final question to address. How can you know that you have truly forgiven someone who hurt you? Here are two simple answers.

The first is when you remember the pain but the pain is gone. Our minds don’t work that way, so there is really no such thing as forgiveness and forgetting. Only God can forgive and forget. However, you can reach a point where even if you remember that sin, it no longer hurts and you are no longer holding it against the person.

The second way you know you have forgiven is when you are able to do things for that person that you were not able to do before. This could be as simple as praying sincerely for them, having a conversation with them, sharing a meal with them, writing them a letter, or sending them a card on their birthday. Even if there was, I couldn’t do it before, but now I can.


Let’s summarize the four steps to forgive.

1. Perspective

2. Remember

3. Admit

4. Yes

If you find it, its acronym is PRAY.When you struggle with forgiveness, remember PRAY.Not only as an acronym, but as an action.When you pray , because God helps you choose to forgive.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/seb_ra

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