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4 Things My Parents’ Marital Struggle Taught Me

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My parents were married for over 50 years. One might think that it must have been easy for them, given the length of their marriage, but that’s far from the truth. It was a struggle. Even though my father was a pastor, my father and mother were bound to experience conflict throughout their marriage. There was even a time when the marriage was about to end. Thankfully, Mom and Dad worked hard for a long time. Our family is deeply grateful to God for helping them. 1 Timothy 6:12 I will describe what my parents accomplished and the many testimonies they have had outside of our family as pastors and wives.

My purpose in discussing their conflicts is not to expose their weaknesses or failures, but to encourage struggling couples to persevere. I also hope that this book will encourage children to show empathy and understanding for their parents’ failures, rather than belittle their parents’ shortcomings and shortcomings. Ephesians 4:2 “Be thoroughly humble and kind. Be patient and be patient with each other with love.”

My parents struggled with each other, but that didn’t stop them from being great parents. Mom and Dad faithfully taught me to love God, loved me, cared for me, and generously provided for my needs.

Please do not point fingers.

There are many different ways of looking at the issue of father-mother marriage. One perspective is to criticize them because they struggle in relationships, make family life very difficult, and easily point out their failures. Yet too many adult children show no mercy to their parents, for reasons such as marital discord. not yet, Colossians 3:13 urge,

“If any of you have a grievance against someone, be patient with one another and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.”

Another look at my parents’ marital struggles is that they were not only literally at odds with each other, they were warriors against the temptation to give up on their marriage. So instead of focusing on how they let us down and let us down, we can focus on their strengths, such as enduring married life in the midst of personal suffering. While many couples succumb to the pressures, anguish, and boredom of a difficult marriage, my parents stuck with it. It was an achievement worthy of the family’s respect for staying married.

God makes all things work together for good.

Life would seem better for all of us if there were no conflicts between our parents, but perhaps seeing them resolve their marital squabbles could, in the long run, make us feel better about ourselves. It may have helped them to face their marital challenges. what otherwise we might not have had the fortitude to face. Thankfully, like my parents, we can trust God to work through our challenges in ways that will benefit and bless our lives. Romans 8:28 assure us,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”

Four things we learned from their struggle:

Here are four things God taught us through our parents’ struggles about not giving up and fighting the battle of faith in marriage.

1. Difficulties are not a reason to quit.

In the midst of marital conflict, my parents taught their children how to stay married even when it was difficult. Seeing their struggles and how they worked through their differences has prepared and strengthened our family to tackle our marriage, especially during difficult times. Most people like to blame their spouse for their wrongdoing as a reason for divorce, Matthew 19:8 He pinpointed the crux of the problem and explained it as follows: “Jesus answered, ‘Moses allowed you to divorce your wife because your heart was hard.’ But it wasn’t always this way.” We advise you to:

“Above all else, protect your heart, for all your actions come out of it.”Proverbs 4:23).

It’s easy to make our hearts cold and hard, but no matter how hard it is to suffer in a marriage, God says to us:Philippians 4:13). Mom and Dad taught me that with the power of God, we can resist hardness of heart as a couple.

2. It’s worth persevering for your family’s faith.

On the surface, my parents didn’t seem to care about us, but in the end, they put their family’s well-being and future ahead of their own. By persevering in their marriage, they were rewarded with making sure their families were safe and getting together to celebrate more than 50 years together. We have seen “for better or worse, in sickness or in health, until death do us part” unfold triumphantly in life. When I think of my parents’ marriage, I don’t think of my parents’ failures, but their successes in the race, even if they stumbled and stumbled a little at times. 2 Timothy 4:7 To explain,

“I put up a good fight, finished the race and kept my beliefs.”

3. This life is just the beginning.

My mother and father struggled to live together on earth, but they believed in the life that would come with Jesus. Instead of thinking they must pursue earthly happiness before it’s too late, they realized that their actions would have eternal consequences. 1 John 2:25 Explain what we believe as believers Jesus Christ “And this is what God has promised us: eternal life.” increase. Pursuing temporary happiness on earth is tantamount to abandoning eternity. 2 Corinthians 4:18 encourage us,

“Therefore, look not at the visible, but at the unseen, for the visible is temporary, but the unseen is eternal.”

4. Settlements have long-term benefits.

Sadly, my parents went through a period of separation. During that time, I grew up, got married, had children, and it felt devastating. Growing up can’t protect children from the pain of their parents’ broken relationship. A broken marriage shakes a family to its core. As families grow up, they begin to question their parents’ basic teachings and wonder if they are true. During the separation, my parents experienced the hurt, loss of unity, loss of joy and peace it brought to our family. Mom and Dad struggled with their relationship, but they believed God’s word about marriage. They respected the Lord and did not want to take His word about divorce lightly.

“‘A man who hates his wife and divorces her,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘says the Lord, the God of Israel.’ So be careful and don’t be dishonest. “Malachi 2:16).

It was important to them to fulfill their covenant with God and keep their vows to God. Even though it was difficult, they put God’s will for their marriage above their own, stayed with each other, and were loyal to each other and to God. Their decision to reconcile repaired their relationship and gave them a renewed commitment to love each other no matter what and to stay together no matter what. 2 Corinthians 5:18 To explain,

“All these things are of God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/eggeeggjiew

Lynette Kittle I am married and have four daughters. She enjoys writing about her faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and her life. Her writings have been published on Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She holds a Master’s Degree in Communications from Regent University, where she is an Associate Producer. Seoul Check TV.

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