In life we are born into a family. Our relatives are people we cannot choose. they are chosen for us. But as you grow from baby to adult, you can choose your friends. These are the people we choose to spend time with. As in any relationship, opposites attract. You may end up choosing people who are the exact opposite of who you are. This may be great at first, but when conflict arises, some friends may choose a harsh or harsh approach to communication. or how we see them or control how we see the world around us. We can resent our inability to be ourselves and be who our friends want us to be. How can you maintain a relationship with a controlling friend while setting firm boundaries?
Here are five ways to deal with an aggressive or controlling friend.
1. I love you
Jesus’ first response in all situations is love (whether it is gentle or tough). He wants us to love others as we love ourselves. Just as we want to be accepted for who we are, we must accept that our friends choose to approach life in a very different way than we do. Acceptance is one of the keys to a successful long-term relationship. That being said, Jesus loves us enough to keep us from falling into sinful patterns of behavior and rather to transform us into Christlike personalities.
We won’t be good friends if we don’t point out if our friends are constantly losing relationships or are constantly at odds because of their unpleasant approaches. , speak truth and love…” (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking truth to others is very important for a person’s spiritual growth. In this verse, truth and love are two sides of the same coin. When we tell others the truth, we love them. It’s not love to just sit in silence and sweep your problems under the rug. God points out when it’s the right time to face our love-struck friends and talk about how they treat others. But if they choose not to have anything to do with us anymore, we should grieve the loss, but the final Ultimately, we need to know we’ve done the right thing by helping them point out their weaknesses and shortcomings so they can be better people.
2. Lead by example
To be a light to the world around us, we must be Christ’s example. This means that every relationship we have, including our friends, must exude the attributes of the Holy Spirit. When our friends become harsh or harsh, we can choose to respond with kindness and goodwill. We can go a step further and show Christlike love without retaliating or arguing with them. We are called to be Christ’s example to the world. This starts with the people we are closest to. If, after a long period of time, you find that your friend hasn’t changed his approach because of who you are, it may be time to sit down and have a difficult (and still necessary) conversation.
3. Change your communication
If your friends always dominate your other relationships and your worldview, try changing the way you communicate. Your friend may be as harsh and controlling as you are. Avoid using the word “you” in conversations with them. Replace the word “you” with the word “I” and use the word “I” instead of “you”. When confronted, choose to express your feelings using the words “I feel…” instead of attacking or blaming. Some people have untreated pain, scars, or problems that they haven’t fully addressed. Just because they choose to treat you this way doesn’t mean you have to be responsible. Respond by telling them how you would feel when they treated you this way. Don’t leave your friend confused because you don’t know how to change your behavior. With soothing, they may realize they may change their communication just by seeing you change your communication.
4. call them
If your friends aren’t emotionally mature, it may be best to simply call them out. The prophet Nathan took great risks in pointing out David’s sin. David didn’t know what he was doing (he committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband), so he couldn’t repent and get out of his way until Nathan pointed it out. “David became angry with the man and said to Nathan, ‘The Lord lives, so the man who did this must die. He did this and had no pity. so you must pay four times for the lamb.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”2 Samuel 12:5-6). If no one in their life is saying they are too controlling or harsh, it may be your job to do so. By doing so, you will be able to get along with your friends, and in the end you will be able to bring great benefits to yourself.
5. Set firm boundaries
Book boundary Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend is an excellent resource for people in toxic relationships. Setting firm boundaries can help your relationship grow while maintaining it. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you have to end the relationship, but in some situations it might. If setting boundaries is your next course of action, you may need to use a “you” statement to communicate that you no longer tolerate their behavior. It can also let you know what will happen in the future if You must be willing to move away from this individual or possibly end the relationship. It is important to love others more than ourselves, but Jesus never told us to put up with abuse and domination. Sometimes letting go of bad relationships so you can experience emotional and mental health is the best example of Jesus you can show.
Like any relationship, friendships can be difficult to navigate. Just because you’ve been friends with someone for a long time doesn’t give them the right to treat you as they please. You may have to have difficult conversations with your friends by becoming friends.
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