Have you noticed how bad our culture is at sharing the beautiful beginnings of marriage? but ends with “They lived happily ever after.” Talk about confusing and complicated messages. What does Happy Ever After look like?
Let us begin with this mass of truth… The world’s view of marriage is in stark contrast to God’s view of us as to the sacredness and beautiful union found in marriage. I don’t aspire to live in ‘to’. His vision is much bigger than that! It is about growing us and adapting us to become more like Jesus!
Unfortunately, the beauty of godly marriage has been suppressed in our society. Sadly, marriage has become something of a joke, and in many cases, loving, God-burning marriages are ridiculed and chastised. Modern TV shows love to make fun of the roles of husband and wife, and downplay the “real” design of our families. No wonder so many couples are looking for the secret to hope and joy!
My friends, it is easy to see that the beautiful foundation that God has laid for our marriage is under brutal attack. Now listen. If you don’t read any further, please understand this. Marriage is not about living happily ever after. Believe me, there will be times when you are not actually happy.
But if you look for a joyful marriage, you will find that peace and love will also come to your marriage. Marriage is not about living happily ever after. It’s not even about you! It is to serve others before yourself. It is also about recognizing that marriage is a precious relationship that unites with others, not with oneself. Genesis 2:24 “A man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Your wedding day marks the beginning of a life that will be cherished, respected and full of joy. That doesn’t mean God-fearing couples don’t face trials or endure hardships. In fact, they are likely the most targeted. Satan loves to attack rich and beautiful marriages. But when a couple stays firm in their faith, fights for their marriage, and seeks Jesus in every situation, they will find the secret to a loving and joyful marriage. They also have testimonies worth sharing about how great our God is!
So what’s the secret to joy in marriage? In short, joy is found in the sweet little moments. It’s hidden in small acts of kindness and unexpected gestures that go a long way… be it a smile, a tender kiss, a subtle emotion. It is to love your spouse, even in difficult times, with grace and kindness, as Jesus calls you to love them.
Much has been said about living “forever happily”. So let’s discover her 6 little ways (or secrets) to have a joyful and divine marriage.
1. Have fun together
“Our mouths were filled with laughter, and our tongues were filled with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ rice field.” Psalm 126:2
Laughter is said to be good medicine, and I have to agree with that sentiment. Laughter releases endorphins that make you feel good. It’s okay to laugh or get angry, right?
When was the last time you laughed? If it’s too long, time is of the essence. Start today. If your marriage is a little flat in this area, it’s okay to ask for help. Tim Hawkins is our favorite comedian. He delivers clean jokes and shares issues we can all relate to, usually in songs and stories. His wedding skit is the best!
2. Lift each other up
Have you ever bragged about your spouse in front of friends, family, or church? If not, now might be the time to start. Appreciate them and watch their faces light up as you do so. Be sincere and share how proud you are of them. Introduce your spouse, whether it’s your achievements at work or how dedicated you are to raising your children.
When you take the time to build your spouse and recognize the fruits of their labor, the words go straight to their hearts. Proverbs 16:24 “Graceful words are like honeycombs, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
3. Have a heart of service
On weekends when there are no rushed softball games, my sweet husband brings me coffee while I’m still sleeping. Mind you, he first lets me go to bed (it’s heaven with 3 kids) and then wakes me up with the scent of my favorite drink.
Serving your spouse shows that you care deeply for them and want to honor them with your service. What do they love? what drives them? what is their love language How can you handle it? Simple actions like taking out the trash without being asked or rubbing your feet while watching a movie can raise the temperature of love. May you be filled with joy!
“Serve with all your heart, as if you were serving the Lord and not people.” Ephesians 6:7
4. Notice the little things
How easy it is to fall into ruts in a marriage! We become too easygoing and complacent (or selfish) and forget about manners. We fail to notice the little things our spouses do and don’t even acknowledge or offer a simple “thank you” or “how can I help?”
Ha. In fact we have been there many times. But if you don’t notice the little things and fall into a pattern of complacency, those little things add up to big things. Before I know it, I’m down a not-so-good road that I don’t know how I got there.
Small acts of kindness matter. So take care and let your sweet spouse know that you see the fruits of their labor.
5. Greet warmly
“Greeting one another with a kiss of love. Peace be to all of you who are in Christ.” 1 Peter 5:14
There is something about a warm greeting that welcomes joy. Many times throughout the Bible people greet each other with warm hugs and kisses. This special greeting is still used today and may vary depending on culture and family traditions, but a warm and loving greeting shows that you missed the other person and are happy to be back together!
When our daughters were little, they would run up to their husbands when we got home and swarm them with hugs and kisses. Now he’s home and most of them are doing their homework or their friends are coming home. Now that we’re teenagers, greetings aren’t as warm as they used to be.
6. Accept your role
There is a beautiful role that husbands and wives play in marriage, specially designed by our Creator. God created the husband and lovingly guided and protected the family (Ephesians 5:25(Genesis 2:18). Both play an important role in raising a family. And when husbands and wives honor their roles and become a team and a united front, the image of a loyal family emerges!
A truly joyful marriage is one in which you honor Christ and use your designed roles to love your spouse beautifully. Cultivating joy in marriage is enabling one’s spouse to be the man or woman that God calls them. When a man values his wife and strives to protect her, she will honor him in return and give him the desires of his heart. , created this sacred union not only to be closer and seek pleasure, but also to draw closer to God and live in peace.
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