I have to be a little reluctant to answer this question here. I say that because there are abusive structures and systems that use “biblical conflict resolution” to harm survivors.principles outlined in Matthew 18 It can be used to intimidate those who have been victimized, or to coerce false forgiveness from those who have been permanently hurt.
But God teaches us about conflict resolution. Where biblical reconciliation always begins Jesus ChristWe can pursue true and lasting reconciliation with God only if we are reconciled with God first. All reconciliations must start here.
James 4:1-2 It will tell you where the fight against conflict lies. As David Powlison explains:
“One of the joys of biblical ministry is when you can light up someone else’s dark room. pity, hurt, self-righteousness) who truly understood and considered their motives. James 4:1-3 It teaches that craving underlies conflict. why do you fight It’s not “for my wife/husband…” but something about you. Couples who understand what they are doing can learn how to repent, realize that God’s grace is real, and make peace. “
This helps us first consider our role in any conflicts we may have. Matthew 7:3-5 It makes it clear that in any conflict it is good to doubt and examine yourself first.
Disclaimer: This is sound advice when we are talking about reckless sin against each other, or when the balance of power is about equal. For example, it is irresponsible and harmful to ask about personal liability if someone is sexually assaulted.
It’s the same with things like Matthew 18It’s a tremendous scripture for overcoming interpersonal conflict. It helps us know how to pursue reconciliation if we are offended. As a general rule, if we sin, we should take these steps, pray for the repentance of the sinner, and respond accordingly.
but it is inappropriate to use Matthew 18 As a stick against someone in an abusive relationship. Matthew 18 It is not intended to outline the steps a wife should take if a husband is abusing his wife. She can’t reprimand her for “first she didn’t go to him.”
Yes, the Bible outlines how to resolve disputes. But we must consider the general principle that there is an antagonism that must never be reconciled, and that it is with sin. Whenever we use the principles of biblical conflict to harm vulnerable people, we are reconciled with sin and in enmity with God. The Bible says a lot about conflict.
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