The knife went a little deeper this time. A friend spread gossip about me, ruining my reputation and ultimately ruining our friendship.
Insults were thrown. I was accused. her feelings hurt. A myriad of emotions pierced my spirit. hurt. betrayal. anger. I have invested my time, money and abundant resources in this person. All I could do now was not want a refund for this raw transaction.
They were supposed to be our friends. How can they do this to us?
Over time, a new set of emotions emerged. bitter taste. resentment. loose the temper. I hesitated to forgive and was reluctant to trust anyone again. As I pondered my feelings, God reminded me of this verse. Luke 6:27-28: “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse you.”
After reading that verse, I knew I had the greatest weapon, the gift of blessing. Satan tried to rob us of our joy, but I was not going to let him escape. God, as always, thwarts Satan’s plans for revenge and allows us to participate in the redemptive work that is taking place in the lives of God’s children. This means that instead of seeking retribution, I can bless those who curse me.
Blessings than throwing mud?
Talk of blessings instead of curses?
did i have that too?
Even though the friend betrayed me, I was able to end the relationship by blessing her life through biblical truth. I got
What Makes a Relationship Toxic?
The elements of a toxic friendship are:
First, it broke trust. The most important part of any relationship is that both parties can trust each other. When trust is broken, it becomes difficult to continue the relationship. Both should feel safe in their friendship. If one feels that the other cannot be trusted, it’s time to move on. A friend is someone with whom you share your innermost thoughts and feelings and who knows that those thoughts will be held in the utmost confidentiality. Once the person confides in the other person what they said, the relationship is over.
Second, it must meet certain expectations. Instead of spending time trying to change the other, both sides need to accept themselves for who they are. Each party must be honest with each other and feel it is a safe place to share. If one has created a dangerous space for the other, it’s time to reassess the relationship. A friend is someone who loves us in any situation. When one party begins to impose conditions or restrictions on that love, it is a toxic situation that needs to be resolved quickly.
Third, if the relationship is draining me physically, emotionally and mentally, it’s time to end the friendship. It cannot be unilateral. It’s time to end a friendship when one person acts more like a therapist than a friend. This is especially true when someone tends to receive more in a friendship than they give. Distance is best in relationships where you receive more than you give. However, rather than simply ghosting someone, it’s a good idea to have a heart-to-heart conversation. After talking with them, if they are hesitant to change, it’s time to end the relationship.
Fourth, if they don’t respect boundaries, it’s time to end the friendship. All relationships require certain boundaries when it comes to emotional and mental space. In this way, there is no ambiguity as to where the relationship begins and ends. If a friend disrespects your boundaries, if it means breaking confidentiality, betraying your trust, or asserting yourself in a situation where they don’t belong, it’s time to create some distance. I got
Fifth, when passive-aggressive or disdainful behavior appears in your friendship, it’s time to stop it. should be fully respected and their opinions should be heard and considered. Someone who simply ignores concerns or acts selfishly is not a friend worth keeping.
Bless Your Enemies—A Tall Command
Friendships can be a rich and rewarding experience for both parties. But if toxic behavior leads to any of the situations above, or others not listed here, it’s time to time out the friendship. Ultimately, however, you can benefit emotionally, mentally, and physically thanks to it.
after allowing Luke 6:27-28 work on your heart, I presented myself with a challenge. I spent a week praying blessings to my enemies in the hope that they would not only change my view of the situation, but my heart as well. I resisted with all my heart, so I could only hope that God would provide this for me.
Reluctantly, I sat in my chair and recited this prayer out loud.
“Lord, bless ________. I know he/she is my enemy, but bring Your healing to the situation. Please turn it into your wish.”
The word Monday was like eating a sour lemon and was utterly disgusting. By Wednesday they were a little more natural.By Friday they were sweet as honey and paid off and myself.
It is difficult to bless an enemy. Thinking about that situation still fills me with anger and betrayal. Yet Jesus gave me the gift of forgiveness through his death on the cross. If he can bless his enemies, so can I. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it because congratulating someone who hates me makes me love them even more. Something inside me changes every time I do it. My personality will be like Jesus. The words lose their bitterness and become a little sweeter. My thoughts were a little less angry and a little more peaceful.
I hope one morning when I utter those words, I won’t have to think twice about them. I’m not there yet, but I’m there.like Proverbs 16:24 “Graceful words are honeycombs, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/MangoStar_Studio
Michelle S. Razlek She is a multi-genre, award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is also a literary agent and certified writing coach at her Wordwise Media Services.her new children’s book what god wants me to do Encourage girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. I’m in.For more information visit her website www.Michel Lazulek.