A healthy marriage is based on true love, honesty, trust and respect. Achieving balance in your marriage is important if you want to have a fun and stress-free relationship. Early in marriage, couples usually fall madly in love and invest everything in their union. But dealing with the same people every day can make things more difficult, in good times and bad. In fact, it doesn’t take long for one spouse to become overburdened and bored.
Honestly, a romantic marriage goes beyond conventional flirting, dinner dates, and movie dates. If you’ve been married for a long time, you already know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over.
What Causes Imbalance in Your Marriage?
After you’ve been married for a while, your relationship with your spouse may start to feel stale and boring. You may even experience situations that give the impression that your relationship is deteriorating and that you are gradually drifting apart.
This is a warning sign that you must take swift action and restore harmony to your union. Constant conflict is the most common cause of marital imbalance, so it’s important to recognize where marital conflict stems from.
1. Minor or Serious Conflicts
Various factors can cause conflict in your marriage. However, you need to understand that no matter what happens, you may not be able to change your partner.
And to keep the relationship at peace, you have to put more effort into improving yourself than your partner. Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless, all of you, love your wives as yourself, and you will know that they honor their husbands.”
You and your spouse should respect the fact that they are different from each other. Also, learn to accept that your partner may have certain qualities or personality traits that you cannot change. Disagreements are normal in marriage and you should learn how to deal with them in a constructive way.
(Note that it’s not a good idea to build a bridge by saying something irrevocably cruel to your spouse.)
2. Ineffective communication
Healthy communication leads to better problem-solving skills, which has a positive impact on your marriage.
Work-related pressures can also have a significant impact on communication between couples. Because stressed partners tend to be withdrawn, angry, and hostile to each other during the week, and less hostile at home on the weekends.
As Christians, we must develop healthy communication skills with our spouses.Without developing effective communication skills and adopting healthy coping mechanisms, marital stress can have a negative impact on children’s lives.
3. Other factors
Marriages are also significantly undermined by other stressors such as denial, avoidance, sadness, self-blame, negative self-language, withdrawal, and more serious stressors such as substance abuse and violence. Other stressors common in everyday life, such as illness, unemployment, children, and other factors, can also have a negative impact on a marriage and significantly alter the quality of the marriage.
How to Restore or Bring Balance in Marriage
The key to a successful relationship where both partners feel safe, supported, and respected is understanding how to maintain balance in your marriage. So how can you restore balance to a failing relationship or bring balance to your marriage? To keep your marriage balanced, you should consider the following key concepts:
1. Make your relationship more trustworthy
You must be reliable and trust your spouse if you want to maintain a balanced relationship.
It can be difficult to trust if you have experienced betrayal in the past. But if you want balance in your marriage, you can’t hold the blame on a spouse who wasn’t complicit in the betrayal. Be trustworthy by sticking to your word to establish trust in your marriage. One of the essential ingredients in building trust in a relationship is being honest. Strive to be honest with your partner when the situation calls for it.
Nothing undermines trust like a small lie. Avoid it! It’s hard for your spouse to trust you again after you’ve been exposed as a liar.
2. Consider your relationship privacy
Remember, your spouse had a life before you met, and it will continue after you are gone. Recognize and respect your partner’s boundaries. Be careful not to intrude on your personal space. Also, acknowledge that your partner has personal needs and is human just like you.
You don’t have to spend every hour of every day with your spouse. Sometimes you need to focus on other important areas of your life. Giving your partner personal space is not disrespectful. They will appreciate you more if you respect their privacy.
3. Admit conflict
A healthy marriage includes times of joy and times of contention. It’s not a perfect world where everything is ideal. Instead, it involves two different people, each with their own personalities and behaviors. Realize that your partner is different than you. As a result, it is sometimes misleading. But that doesn’t mean the two can’t get along. Pain and discomfort should be communicated to each other in a healthy way. Embrace your differences. We understand each other’s perspectives and respectfully disagree without criticizing the other’s shortcomings.
Let love guide your married life. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not exaggerate and does not exaggerate. Do not behave rudely, do not seek self-interest, do not provoke, do not think evil. ”
Conflicts are a natural part of a healthy relationship and can even help it grow.
4. Healthy communication
Healthy and constant communication is essential to building a healthy relationship. It enables deeper connections between individuals. Either way, couples must be able to communicate their feelings to each other and accommodate both their individual demands and relationship needs. An unbalanced marriage has poor communication and the integrity of the relationship is at risk if one party feels neglected.
It’s best to develop a strong connection with your partner and express yourself openly (1 Peter 3:1-9).
You need to be honest and forthright about your feelings, and the other person should pay full attention to you. Having someone to share your life with is the main goal of a healthy marriage, so don’t hesitate to show your partner your vulnerability.
5. Commit and compromise, but don’t make many concessions
It is admirable to do everything in your power to benefit your relationship and your partner. Strengthens bonds and promotes emotional reunion with spouse. However, making too many concessions can ultimately lead to a distraction from your personal needs and desires, which can ruin you. Spending too much time with your spouse can make it difficult to do other important things in your marriage and at home.
Remember that healthy compromises don’t negatively affect other important aspects of your life or relationships.
If you can save money to see your significant other and spend time drinking at a bar, that’s a healthy compromise. Taking care of your partner is also essential, but it doesn’t have to be a hassle.
In moments when your mental health is underscored by your sacrifice, you forge an imbalanced connection.
6. Respect your spouse’s preferences
A powerful way to establish a balanced marriage is to respect your spouse’s decisions and preferences.
There are times when your partner makes choices that you disagree with. The wisest course of action is to accept without fuss.
Sometimes we can’t stop them from making bad choices. It can be difficult to stop and watch when you have the power to prevent your partner from making bad choices. The truth is, you can’t get much done if they don’t want your help. So all you can do is give them advice and let them decide for themselves. Be your partner’s refuge when everything around them turns against them. It’s best to work together to come up with solutions instead of judging.
7. Don’t rely too much on your spouse
Limiting your dependence on your spouse is another way to maintain balance in your marriage. It’s okay to ask each other for help. It’s perfectly fine to discuss issues with your partner and ask for advice on anything. However, it is best not to rely solely on your spouse. This is because they can become an excessive burden and make you believe that you cannot feed yourself. And this can negatively affect your relationship as it gives them the opportunity to take advantage of you.
8. Stay true to who you are
People in unbalanced marriages often hide their true selves from each other. Express your true self honestly and be sincere. Obviously you can’t keep it up for long, so don’t fake it. And ultimately, when your partner realizes your true nature, you end up hurting your partner and your marriage.
A balanced marriage requires respect, love, and complete commitment to one’s spouse. Ephesians 5:22-25 23 Husbands are head of wives, as Christ is head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Let wives also obey their husbands in everything: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.”
Prioritize honesty, trust and healthy communication with your spouse.
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