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- My husband always controlled our finances while I paid the bills.
- After an unexpected expense, I decided to put my family’s money in order.
- I now realize that I have a different way of thinking about spending money now than I do in the future.
Payday is the 4th. I am determined to stay under $100 at times.
It’s not because you only have $100 left. On the other side of that $100 there are no dire consequences. I have decided not to spend more than $100. Emergency, vacation, husband’s birthday dinner, etc. It’s all a complex system of carefully considered, automatic deposits, payments, and financial goals.
A year ago, this system did not exist.
I tried to be thoughtful about my household spending, but when it came to money, I built my ideas on vague knowledge rather than specifics. I took care of my outings, including grocery shopping, medical bills, and donations to my children’s schools. No offense to her husband about this setup. His salary far exceeds mine.He works so hard to make money that I can safely bear the mental strain of using it. manage our finances.
He preferred this method. My husband suffers from anxiety, so as far as he was concerned, leaving the management of our money to someone who would spend it all was not an option. We were happy with this arrangement.
But last year, my husband’s money anxiety began to affect his health, and I began to resent the effects of our role. I’m also a finance writer and temperamentally well suited to handle the stress that comes with managing money. I did.
An unexpected debt forced us to change our strategy
A few months after building our new backyard, things came to a head. We saved for the pool and budgeted for the landscaping, but didn’t take into account the deck chairs, picnic tables, twinkling lights and the ridiculously expensive poles holding them up. I could go on but you get the picture. Unfortunately, we didn’t get the photos until it was too late, and we had a credit card bill that we weren’t able to pay in full at the end of the month.
Credit card revolving payment is a big opportunity for my husband. As an optimist between the two of us, I reminded him that in our grand scheme of income, $5,000 in debt wouldn’t break us. The reassurance didn’t mean coming from someone who didn’t really know what she was talking about. I checked our accounts regularly and it was his job to understand the ins and outs of our financial structure.
For his part, my husband was perplexed. He didn’t spend much, so he didn’t understand where all our money went. I decided it was my turn to take over our finances.
When I told him what I had decided, he said, “But you are the one spending the money. I don’t think you should be responsible for managing it.”
I answered. So we made the switch.
Thinking about money is very different
Our finances have never been worse and have neither improved nor deteriorated under my supervision. I feel less stressed without it.
In my case, my attitude towards household spending has changed dramatically. I’ve noticed that much of my past spending reflects a few key assumptions. Assumptions such as “I’ve sold a large item, so I can afford to take my friend out to lunch.” Or, “We hit a big income milestone.
These days, I’m actively working towards my money goals, so my spending reflects our financial realities rather than the ideas I’ve constructed in my head. has completely lost its appeal for me. If he can’t afford a beach vacation this year, he doesn’t need a $40 basket tote for the beach. And if you don’t set aside money each month, you can’t afford a beach vacation. there won’t be enough money to spend. monthly vacation savings.
I learned another thing when I took over the household finances. It’s a little like riding a car. Sure, being a passenger who doesn’t have the strength to steer a car through a sharp turn or hit the brakes when a traffic jam suddenly hits is stressful. But when in a traffic jam, passengers don’t have to pay attention to the taillights of the car in front or rate the lanes to see which ones are moving the fastest. Passengers can play with their phones and whine about how badly they have to use the bathroom. Driver. After all, passenger gasps don’t stop accidents. Drivers do it.
I am a driver now. I don’t like stress, but thanks again to my partner who has had it for over a decade. And I’m honored to be able to take that burden off his shoulders and watch over me.