When I was little, I grew up watching Disney princesses and Hallmark movies. From princes and princesses to kings and queens, I quickly made up the idea that when I grew up, I would accidentally fall in love and live happily ever after. But as a child, little did I realize that love rarely happens the way it does in the movies. And there were many things I wish someone had told me before I fell in love.
When I was 21, I remember crying on the floor because I was single. But I truly believe that the Lord prepared my heart and made room for true love to grow that season before I was in a relationship.
When I met my now-fiancée just a year later, I learned three things about love. It’s been almost five years since we met, and each is still applicable and worth sharing.
This may seem obvious, but one thing that surprised me about love when I first started dating is that love is an action. 1 Corinthians 13 It describes love as being patient, kind, and forgiving. But it is easy to read the verse and deduct the application. Aside from the application, love seems easy. Butterflies and warm fuzzies are included, the soothing sensations that leave us wanting more. But, as Passion Translation writes, love requires much more serious work and action than we would like to do.
“Love is great and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when someone else’s blessing comes. Love is its own accomplishment.” Do not boast or exaggerate your importance Love does not sell shame and disrespect, Selfishly seeks its own honor Love is easily irritated and easily offended Love gladly celebrates honesty and finds no joy in wrong.Love is a safe haven.Love never counts failure as defeat.Love never gives up.Love is Never cease to love. It spreads beyond the gift of prophecy and then fades away. It is more lasting than tongues that will someday be silenced. Love lingers long after words. Our present knowledge and prophecy are partial. It is only a thing, but when love becomes complete, the partial disappears.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-10).
Despite a common misconception, according to God’s definition, love is a verb, not a passive noun. And if God is love (noun) (1 John 4:7-21), love is not only an eternal person, but also an active pursuit of passion.
Perhaps the greatest proof of love is that Love Himself crucified His Son to die for our sins, knowing that we may never love Him back. It was when And we certainly couldn’t pay him back. True love has to do with others, not with yourself. And the moment love is separated from feeling and separated from action, it simply isn’t love.
Jesus kept this simple when he said: 1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love in words or speech, but in deeds and truths.” (1 John 3:18, NIV).And he does so by leading by his example: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ You gave your life for us. And we must lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If there is a man who has material possessions and sees his brothers and sisters in need, but does not sympathize with them, how can he have God’s love?”1 John 3:16-17NIV).
Jesus never asks us to do something He has not done or given. Why do we expect anything less? So why do we selflessly give love and not lavish it on others?
2. love needs work
Once the infatuation honeymoon phase was over, I quickly realized that love takes a lot more effort than just action. When it came down to it, it was clear that our love would require patience, persistence, and a lot of resilience.
Many people may roll their eyes at this if you’ve been dating for some time, but you and your significant other will have disagreements. Not your copy! And perhaps that means you end up disagreeing on something.
In such cases, it is important to remember what Jesus said about disagreement. Listen fast, speak slow, but never go to bed angry:
“Dear brothers and sisters, pay attention to this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry, because human anger does not produce the justice God desires. Therefore, remove all moral stains, accept the evil that is so prevalent, and humbly accept the words that have been instilled in you, that can save you.” (James 1:19-21NIV).
He also said that if you remember getting angry with someone while making an offering to the gods, it is more important to ask that person for reparation first. The message paraphrases it as follows:
“On these matters, I would like you to behave in this way: If you enter a place of worship and are about to make an offering and suddenly remember that a friend has a grudge against you, Abandon your offerings, leave at once, and go here. Be my friend and set things straight, and only then come back and work things out with God.” (Matthew 5:23-24).
Clearly the Bible makes it clear that love requires effort on both sides. Loving isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.
3. Love is not just for gratification
Whether we admit it or not, the act of loving another human being is not just for our gratification. And as harsh as it may sound, marriage, love, and relationships weren’t created just to please our inherently selfish tendencies. Romans 3:23 reminds me all We have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This means that when we love, our natural nature is always directed towards what we receive ourselves rather than what we can give to others.
One of the best passages in Scripture that speaks of this kind of love is when Jesus finally died for us (Matthew 27:32-56). There was nothing to rejoice about in Jesus’ death. And although Jesus believed that God would live forever, I cannot comprehend the pain he endured when the sins of the world were placed upon his body. What he truly loved was love that was willing to die, not for the love that would be returned.
of John 21, beginning in verse 15, Jesus demonstrates this love when he asks Simon Peter, “Do you love me?” 3 times, change Agape (sacrificial love) Philio (friendship). Even when Jesus asked Peter for sacrificial love, the only love he was willing to give was the love of friendship, Jesus went to him. He changed his expectations of his love. He loved him anyway.
“After they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Peter, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me more than this? Peter replied, “Yes, Lord! You know that I love you very much!” “Then take care of my lamb,” Jesus said, “Jonah Son Simon, will you kindle your love for me?” he repeated the question a second time. Peter answered, “Yes, Lord! You know that I love you very much!” Son Peter, do you love me deeply?” When Peter was asked the third time, he became sad and said, “Lord, you know all. You know that I am burning with love for you!” Jesus replied, “Then feed my lambs.” (John 21:15-17TPT)!
Today, when you love, I pray that you come to seek to embody all that love itself has given us. but in so doing it will always exemplify the love of Christ it was meant to represent.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund
Amber Ginter A young adult writer currently working as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, with a passionate desire to make an impact in the world for Jesus through his love of writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. I’m here. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, the art of aesthetic worship, and her volunteer role.She has been enrolled at the YWW Author Conservatory, has become a full-time author, and has been featured on Crosswalk. is also a writer of