A few months ago, I was walking out for coffee with my friends Andy and Izzy after getting off school. On one of those perfect spring mornings, with birds chirping and flowers blooming, I suddenly heard my name. “Joanna Goddard”.
I looked up and saw him standing on the pavement. He’s a guy I dated for five years when I was in my twenties. He held out his hand for a hug, and time flew by as I examined my outfit in his mind (Jacket, sweaterand Sweat pantsout loud) and rearranged my face into the neutral expression I imagined (below).
my exact expression.
“How’s it going?” he asked, looking very good with his windswept hair and gray sweater. “Very good,” I replied, introducing my friend. Just then, a man walked in with a fluffy dog and could see my escape hatch. I crouched down to pet the dog, smiled over my shoulder, and yelled, “So… see you soon!”
On the way to the cafe, Andy, Izzy, and I resumed our last chat about kids, TV shows and books. And I congratulated myself inwardly for being so calm and, dare I say, elegant in what might have been an awkward encounter.
I clearly wasn’t.
Later that day, during a break at work, I texted Andy and Izzy with a big secret. The article that followed is:
Me: You all know how I met that guy on the corner
and we said hello and hugged him
It was my ex!
At least I wasn’t sweating with wet hair and no makeup
Andy: It must have been him!!
Izzy: I knew that was your ex!!!
He has original letters all over him!
Me: oh hahahaha what
Did you sense the atmosphere of my trapped animal?
Izzy: 100% strongly agree
me: why? how? ? ?
Wow you guys didn’t miss a beat
Izzy: That interaction only meant one thing
Andy: To me it was the look on his face
and how he said your first and last name
Izzy: Yes, his expression reads, “We’ve definitely had sex before.”
Oops, hahaha, I wasn’t fooling anyone. My friend Lina says: “People are more transparent than they think,” she said.
what about you? Where did you meet your ex-lover? Tell me you were smoother than me
PS 10 readers commented on the breakup and seeing my body with fresh eyes.