God wants us to be happy, right?
I hear it a lot in marital work. Two people on the brink of divorce, not because of abuse or infidelity, but because the relationship no longer makes them happy. As they explain, the excitement, curiosity, and fun they experienced at the beginning of their relationship are no longer there. “We are separated until we die” But for many, those words have lost their meaning.
The reality is that cultures are changing, and the beliefs we hold about marriage often reflect those changes. and a consumer-driven mindset fosters a more transactional attitude toward relationships.
Instead of understanding God’s true purpose of marriage, we routinely ask ourselves what others can do for us, what they can give us, and Ultimately we see marriage based on how they make us feel about ourselves.
Conclusion: If happiness is your primary expectation in marriage, you are most likely to become disillusioned and disappointed.
Why God Designed Marriage
To understand God’s plan for marriage, we must understand God’s plan for us as individuals. Many believers have a superficial conception of God, “Genie in the Bottle” Its primary function is to make us happy, but the Bible makes it clear that His plan for His children is to make us holy, not happy. . 1 pet 1:15-16
AW Tozer explains:At the same time, an unholy person should not wish to be happy. He should know God’s will, put his effort into doing it, and let Christ decide how happy he should be. “
Tim Keller, pastor, author, theologian, Define Married as, “…A lifelong monogamous relationship between a man and a woman. According to the Bible, God invented marriage to reflect his saving love for us in Christ, to refine our character, to create a stable human society for the birth and upbringing of children, and to create complementary relationships. It has achieved all this by bringing sexuality into a permanent whole. Life Union”.
Henri Nouwen situation“… Marriage is above all a profession. The two are summoned to fulfill the mission given by God. Marriage is a spiritual reality. That is to say, men and women live their lives not only because they experience deep love for each other, but because they believe that God loves each other with infinite love and is called to live with each other. together for Witness to that love. To love is to embody God’s infinite love in faithful fellowship with another human being.
Marriage is one of our greatest teachers because it inherently reveals the reality of who we are, what we expect, and how we relate to others. is. No relationship can be more revealing and transformative than the one in which we are committed to sharing our lives enduringly and intimately.
and huff post articleauthor and speaker Tyler Ward concludes that marriage is about personal transformation. He explains: Happiness is often a very real byproduct of healthy relationships, but marriage is designed to bring dysfunction to the surface of our lives, ignite it, and help us grow. The job is to remedy our dysfunction and propel us toward progressive wholeness.
Conclusion: The less we see our spouses as saviors and more as companions in this journey of life, the more likely we are to seek our own healing and growth. This will allow you to develop more realistic expectations of your marriage, which will ultimately lead to greater stability, peace and, of course, happiness.
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What Does the Bible Say About Unhappy Marriages?
It is important to distinguish between unhappy marriages and toxic and destructive marriages. For those who have experienced unrepentant adultery, abandonment, or repeated physical/emotional/verbal/sexual abuse, this article is not for you. unfulfilled expectations, etc. As couples grow together in God, God’s design for mutual submission does not allow abuse of any kind.
Regarding marriage, Malachi 2: 15-16 (NIV) To tell, Didn’t God make you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does God require? pious offspring. So be careful not to be unfaithful to your young wife. “Whoever hates his wife and divorces her will beat him to death,” says the Lord God of Israel, says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, he must not let his guard down.
Biblically speaking, a spouse does not have the right to simply dissolve an unhappy marriage. God intended marriage to last a lifetime.
ephesians 5 Describe marriage as a metaphor for your relationship with God. God’s love for us is not capricious, nor does it depend on favorable circumstances. His relationship with us is solely based on our contract. God wants us to remain true to our vows.
Does this mean that God wants us to continue in unhappy marriages? No, what He wants is an invitation for each of us to pursue His healing. Rather than waiting to discover it in a new relationship, he allows us to experience transformation where we are now. I hope you understand what health looks like in our marriage: healthy expectations, communication, boundaries, and conflict resolution.
Conclusion: An unhappy marriage should be an indicator that there is something God wants to deal with in our lives and marriages. God wants us to recognize and be willing to deal with problems in our marriages when they arise, and to work together for personal and relationship growth. That way, we can continue to grow together and develop greater connection, strength, and intimacy in our marriage.
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8 signs your marriage is unhappy
1. Is there more and more criticism, disrespect, defense, and interference in your marriage?
2. Do you often feel that you have little to say to each other?
3. Do you imagine a future without a partner?
4. Do you and your spouse live separate lives?
5. Does your marriage lack sex and physical affection?
6. Do you often feel disconnected from your spouse?
7. Is it easier to focus on everything but relationships?
8. Do you talk more with your friends than with your spouse?
If you answered yes to any of these, you are most likely in an unhappy marriage.
Does God Want You to Stay in an Unhappy Marriage?
Let me be clear, God does not want anyone to remain in an environment that is physically or emotionally insecure. period. However, many couples who find their marriage unsatisfactory and unhappy either break up too early or do not get the help they need to properly resolve their problems, leaving God to provide for them and their children. We often miss the blessings you have given us.
6 ways to get your marriage back
1. Stop blaming your spouse for your unhappiness. No one but you is responsible for your happiness. If you find yourself experiencing a lack of joy, personal fulfillment, or satisfaction in your marriage, create a personal inventory to assess your biggest areas of dissatisfaction and the sources of dissatisfaction. please give me.
2. Pray. Ask God to reveal the areas of your heart that need His healing. Ask him to show you that you are responsible. Ask God to reveal how He wants you to grow and what He wants you to learn to become more like Him.
3. Find specific ways in which you can pursue the healing that God asks of you. Contact a trusted Christian therapist in your area to help heal the broken pieces, cultivate new patterns, new skills, new ways of living, and transform both you and your marriage.
4. Stop seeing your spouse as the bad guy in your life. Start seeing them as your friends. See them as honest yet broken. Offer them compassion on your healing journey. please pray for them. Make a list of qualities and behaviors that you admire. Focus on these. Remind her of these attributes throughout her day.
5. Find ways to affirm your spouse. Let them know that what they are doing is right instead of verbalizing criticism or contempt for what they are not doing. Please say thank you to them. Find ways to celebrate freely without expectations.
6. Pray daily about your spouse and your marriage. I pray for protection from enemies. Pray for each and every one of you on your journey. Pray for security, vulnerability, and skill to get through the problems that will inevitably arise in your marriage. Pray for the wisdom and humility to reach out to counseling to help you heal and grow together.
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Verses on Marriage Joy
Love and sincerity meet. Justice and peace kiss each other.
As a young man marries a young woman, so your builder marries you;
Dear friends, let us love each other. Because love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. But I feel sorry for people who fall and have no one to help them. You can also keep warm by sleeping together. But how can one stay warm? Even if one is overwhelmed, the two can defend themselves. A 3-strand cord will not break quickly.
Blessed are all who fear the Lord and follow Him. Blessings and prosperity are yours. Your children will be like the sprouts of olives that surround your table.
Prayer for a happy marriage.
Dear Abba’s Father
I long to know Your healing in all areas of my heart and in my marriage. like. Show me the broken pieces of my past that need healing so I can walk in wholeness and freedom. Show me the expectations you have of me for my spouse and my marriage. Help me learn better ways to communicate and resolve conflicts with my spouse. Reveal how you failed in your marriage and tell me how to ask for forgiveness and how to offer it freely. Rekindle my respect, trust, admiration and love for my spouse and draw us towards a deeper connection and intimacy with you. Help me to always look to You so that I can glorify You in my heart and in my marriage. Amen.
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Lisa Murray Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Jesus Girl and Recovering Perfectionist. Her passion is to encourage and empower individuals, whether in mind, marriage or faith, to cultivate healing and wholeness that awakens a heart of peace. lifelong peaceis available in AmazonShe writes weekly Lisa Murray Online.comyou can follow her Facebook, twitter, Instagramand Pinterest.