What to Do When You Unintentionally Hurt Someone

Preoccupied in the moment, I had no idea how it would make her feel. I was selfish and disrespectful of her boundaries.

Have you ever done or said something that you regret? It’s all about how it’s perceived, intentional or not.

It seems that when I am not paying attention, the person I care about inevitably comes under direct attack with my careless words and actions.

This is an area that has personally bothered me for a long time. To be honest, no matter how much I try to be a good wife, friend, mother, or person, I often feel like I’m still failing.

You’ll quickly realize where you went wrong, and you’ll soon be filled with regret and remorse. But what takes seconds to destroy can take days, months, or even a lifetime to repair.

Even after apologizing and doing your best to fix the problem, the situation is still not quite right. That’s when fears, doubts, and doubts flood my mind.

• What if time doesn’t actually heal all wounds?

• What if they never got over it?

• What if they push this on me forever?

• What if they brought it up over and over and didn’t make me shut it up?

And when they don’t seem to get the answers they want, they start to get upset and anxious.

Embarrassingly, I realized that the person who was mad at me was actually mad at the person because I never tried to fix the things I hurt them. Even though I’m impatient, I want to overcome this moment and move on to better days. I’m selfish, but I get frustrated when things don’t go my way.

After trying to understand how best to deal with others when a sincere apology is not enough, I conclude that there must be a solution other than simply raising my hand in despair. reached.

Here’s the truth. We live in a world full of imperfect people, full of selfishness, jealousy, anger, dissatisfaction and pride (Galatians 5:19-21). Because of this, it can be nearly impossible to get over when you feel you have been wronged by others. Depending on our state of mind, we may never be able to (Proverbs 14:30).

Often these hurt feelings are rooted in past trauma and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Simply put, humans are very sensitive, get hurt easily, but recover very slowly.

It’s important to try to have empathy for others who are struggling in these areas, and that’s part of being a good friend.Ephesians 4:32).

As Christians, we are held to a higher standard: forgive 77 times (Matthew 18:21-22), to remove the log from my friend’s eye before calling attention to the debris in his eye (Luke 6:41), we only stone ourselves if we are innocent (John 8:7), turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39), to love patiently (1 Corinthians 13:4) and to live in peace with others as much as possible (Romans 12:18).

If you have unintentionally hurt someone, it is time to act or say something intentionally by telling them:

I really don’t want my carelessness ruining meaningful relationships.

Once you declare peace, you have to wait. And while we have absolutely no control over the reactions of those we hurt or the timelines of their healing and recovery, I still believe there are three things we can and should do. increase.

1. Give up control

Letting go of control may be one of the most difficult things for some of us, but it is often the first step to healing.

of 1 Corinthians 13:5 In (ESV), Paul points out that love “doesn’t claim its own way.” Instead, you have to give up the path you think you should take.

Trying to manipulate the situation to hasten the repair of a broken relationship can actually make things worse and slow down the repair process.

It’s best to just let go and give them the space they need to process what happened, how they feel about it, and how they plan to move on.

Don’t try to micromanage their recovery. Take a few steps back and be patient with the time it takes.

Instead of trying to control the situation, try to focus on God and your own actions and let God decide the outcome (Psalm 37:5).

behave as usual

Don’t keep talking as if the situation has to change, especially if the other person has already said they accept your apology.

“Above all, keep loving each other seriously, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 ESVs

Things only get worse when we act differently.

You don’t want to be indifferent to the situation you’ve caused, but you also don’t want to delve into what might not be there. Believe me, be careful not to read between the lines. I’m more of a “true to face” person, so I live a less stressful life.

Over time, that discomfort will go away, and eventually things will start to feel the same as they did before you inadvertently damaged the relationship.

2. Pray

Praying is always the right thing to do in any situation (Philippians 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer changes things. Prayer has the power to heal wounds and heal broken hearts (1 John 5:14).

please pray Because we don’t just pray for our fellow believers (1 Thessalonians 5:25) But we are even commanded to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44) I think this implies that we must also pray for everyone in between (1 Timothy 2:1-2).

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The prayer of the righteous works with great power.” James 5:16 ESVs

As you approach God in this situation, pray that your friends will do the same (Hebrews 4:16).

God is faithful and forgives us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). He accepts a bad situation and makes it work for the better (Romans 8:28).

3. Then wait patiently

Find inner peace with the Holy Spirit within you while you wait for healing from unintentionally caused trauma.Philippians 4:7, John 14:27). Once you’ve realized and admitted your mistake, made a sincere apology, and made the necessary adjustments in your life to prevent something like this from happening again, there’s not much you can do but wait patiently.Galatians 6:9).

“With all humility, tenderness, and patience, bear with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in bonds of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3 ESVs

Whatever you do, don’t let guilt or shame dwell in your heart. Remember, God sees the intentions of the heart (1 Samuel 16:7) and if your intentions are pure, there is nothing to be ashamed of (Isaiah 50:7). Keep moving forward in God’s love and grace and pray that God will work and move them in their hearts.

Do your best to imitate Christ in your relationships (1 Corinthians 11:1). Thanks to this broken world we live in, it’s impossible to get along with everyone all the time. Continue to hold yourself to Christlike standards and extend grace and patience to all around you.

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